#what could i have missed. i kinda wish i could stop talking forever and then i wouldnt have to worry about it.
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#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely#I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend#I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real#it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me#it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them#and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life#I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation#I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately#I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this#I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations#and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore#I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me#I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life#but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to#at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all#just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days#it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever#it’s times like these I wanna fade away#if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of#idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with#pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place#I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything#just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way#like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago#just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that#personal
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i don’t know. its like i dont have the words for anything. its so embarrassing oh am i ignoring you am i being an asshole. am i stupid did i fail english class. no its more like if everyone was given language skills they left me out of
#is it. autism??? is it illiteracy? im not tthe most well read but most people i know dont read for fun#is it bc i didnt understand english class very well. or no bc i actually hated writing in english class but i did it well enough that my#teachers actually thought i was just being lazy and Could do better. so they didnt believe me when i said i didnt. seem to have the. like#vocabulary or something. and i have no social skills and theyre just stuck. bc its not like i can learn. ive been trying for 19 years i mea#what could i have missed. i kinda wish i could stop talking forever and then i wouldnt have to worry about it.#i get made fun of for my speech a lot and its not something i dislike in the moment its something i dislike. when i think about it#so i cant combat it. bc i dont care when it happens#whatever#simons spouting
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Blonde
Twice Sana x Male Reader
6K Words
Content Warning: angst, mentions of cheating, hate sex, possessive sana, breeding kink
Minors DNI
A/N: I've been wanting to write something about THIS^ Sana for a while now but I didn't really know where I wanted to go with the plot. That is until anon requested an interesting kinda angsty and toxic dynamic between reader and Sana.
From anon - "hear me out POSSESSIVE POWER BOTTOM SANA WITH A BREEDING KINK BUT WONT LET IT SHOW BECAUSE SHE’S A FUCKING BRAT AND YOU HATE HER BUT NOT HER BODY"
apologies to anon because I went a tad bit off script..
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She's fucking blonde.
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You don't know how you could ever allow Minatozaki Sana to ruin your life.
She's only five foot four and just a little over a hundred pounds but the heavy weight of her presence always seems to anchor you and keep you in her grip. You're broken up, you've been broken up for three months now. You made the decision to go no contact and completely cut her out of your life. It was the betrayal, the lying, the manipulating that acted as the final nail in the coffin, killing and burying any real love you had left for her. Now it's all bitter hatred.
It's taken you a while to get where you are. From thinking about her every day to only thinking of her maybe once a week. From not being able to listen to the songs you used to listen to together to merely flinching when they played on the radio. You weren't going to let memories of her turn the once normal parts of your life sour.
That's what you think right up until your doorbell rings.
You quirk your eyebrow and look up from your phone, wondering who could be at your door at five in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Package? No. Doordash? I wish. A friend? Maybe. You begin thinking of the possibilities as you walk the short distance from your computer to your front door. First you look through the peephole but you're only able to see your neighbors door. "Did I order something?" You mutter to yourself, checking your phone for a moment to see if you missed any emails.
Then you finally unlock your door and open it when you see that there was no email. You look down then you poke your head out, looking left then.. right. Your lips part and your eyebrows furrow as you try to process what the hell you're seeing in front of you right now. Or rather who. It takes you a minute to recognize that it's Sana and that's because something about her is different.
She's fucking blonde.
You're at a complete loss for words because you haven't seen or talked to her in months and now she's in front of you, staring into your soul with a fucking smirk on her face. She notices your gaze, full of confused awe and she thinks it's a good thing. "You like it? I did it for you" Her bottom lip juts out as she looks into your eyes.
"What..What are you doing here?" You begin to stammer as you ignored her question, having to remind yourself to breathe. She's just a girl.
"Are you saying I need a reason to visit my boyfriend?" She crosses her arms and you almost scoff, having half a mind to shut the door in her face. But you don't.
Instead, you make a face and shake your head "We're not together anymore Sana" She steps forwards and touches your hand and you almost immediately recoil and step back into your apartment "Don't touch me, I don't know where you've been." Sure it's a bit immature of you to say but after what she did to you, even feeling her hands on your body made you hostile. You want her nowhere near you.
"Seriously? It's been three months Y/n, get over it." She begins to get upset as if she had any right to. "I made one mistake and now you want to punish me for it forever! Listen he came on to me and-"
"You let him" You finish her sentence off coldly, your jaw clenching as the pain comes flooding back. That distinct ache in your chest, the turning in your stomach, she brought it all back and all she had to do was show up at your door. Your words stop her from talking and she gets this annoyed look on her face but before she can say anything else you actually gain a bit of strength and move to shut the door in her face. Sana puts her foot in the door before you do and stops you from closing it. "Listen, Sana I have a lot going on right now and the last thing I want to do right now is talk to you, just go"
You can't bring yourself to make eye contact and Sana sees it, she sees right through you. She's smart like that, she knows you like that. So she pushes herself through the door to enter your apartment because you'll let her. "Oh please, what else would you have going on besides jerking off?" She says it in that arrogant, sarcastic tone of hers. You open your mouth to protest as she walks in but then you close it and instead you exhale a frustrated huff.
"Why's that the first thing that comes to your mind?" You ask, moving to shut the door as you figured you could maybe say some hurtful things to her—get in her head and make her hurt like she made you. So you stand in the middle of your living room, keeping a good distance as you waited for her response.
"Well, you're a man and you haven't fucked in three months. You must be so pent up, baby" She uses that sweet, sultry tone to finish off her sentence, purposely pouting with those perfect lips right when you manage to take a glance at her face.
Fuck
If there was one thing about Sana? She was fucking sexy. The sexiest girl you've been with in your entire life. Now she has bleach blonde hair and you hate to admit it, as a matter of fact you wouldn't ever admit it, but she looked even hotter. It was such a shame, such a waste that her personality was awful. That she couldn't be trusted.
A little after you ended things you wondered what went wrong and you even tried to make sense of why she would do such a thing because you thought everything was going well. The intimacy was there, you saw each other all the time, there was never a day that went by where you didn't tell her you loved her and more importantly, the sex was hot.
You were ultimately perplexed until you had a good friend sit you down, slap you in the face and then explain to you that cheaters will cheat no matter what and that's probably when the hatred started.
If only he could see you now
A chuckle escapes your lips as you take a few steps forwards, tucking your hands in your pockets "What makes you think I haven't fucked in three months?" You give her a look, one thats calm and collected as if you had no care in the world, as if your heart wasn't beating out of your chest right now and this time, you get yourself to look at her. You watch as her cocky relaxed demeanor turned damn near rigid upon registering what you just said.
"But you haven't" Sana says the words in this matter-of-fact tone like she's expecting you to nod your head and confirm, but you don't. You almost laugh out loud, watching a vein nearly pop out of her neck at the mere thought of you with someone else.
Ironic isn't it?
You stay silent to build the tension, feeling a small boost in your confidence now that hers was noticeably shrinking. Now you can tell that her minds working and that's when you know you've struck a nerve. You try not to smile cause she's staring, watching every one of your moves like a hawk as you take a few steps closer to where she's sitting, right up until you're facing her. You manage to ignore her death stare and you only shrug "And if I have?"
That's when you actually get to appreciate her eyes. They're blue--or at least the color of her contacts are--and she's just staring. "Why the fuck are you playing with me?" She asks blatantly, the curse word leaving her mouth so aggressively, so seriously. Then you begin to lose your cool a bit, having a sort of flashback when you first found out about everything and that distinct feeling of betrayal came back.
The fucking entitlement was getting to you.
"You can't seriously be mad right now" You scoff bitterly and you cross your arms.
Sana stands up and you step back "Who?" Is the only word she utters and she's seething, visibly getting angrier the longer you make her wait.
"Sana, I want you out of my apartment. Now, or else I'm calling the cops" That's all you say before you turn around and walk off in the direction of your room, hoping she'd find her own way out.
You think that'll do it, you think that acting like you don't care and alluding to the possibility that you've fucked someone else would've did it for her.
You're wrong, because instead of leaving like you expect her to, Sana follows behind you closely "You mother-fucker, answer my question" You feel her small fingers wrapping around your arm and you wince when her nails nearly pierce the flesh.
You turn around to face her, yanking your arm out of her grip roughly. Then the annoyance on your face goes away and you freeze. Everything goes away because she's so close and her hand has found it's way on your arm again. She's mad at you, that's very obvious but she looks incredible and you notice how soft her hand is. "Who did you fuck? Tell me" She asks it again, more specifically this time.
"Sana-" You try to step back and the moment you do, your back hits the wall--because of course it does--and Sana doesn't miss her chance to corner you.
"Who?"
At this point you're looking into her eyes and you hate how pretty they are—how pretty she is. Then there's that familiar feeling in your belly. It's back, she still gives you butterflies. "I.." You start, and your words fall short almost immediately and just like that the power dynamic has shifted. All she had to do was get close. "No one" You relax your body, not noticing how tense you were until your shoulders dropped.
It's the truth, you haven't been able to do anything with anyone else since the breakup. It wasn't like you couldn't get laid, you had options but the attraction just wasn't there. Not for any other girl.
Her hand loosens on your arm, but she still keeps it there and her eyes sort of soften. "You're such an asshole, fuck" She hits your arm then huffs like she'd been holding a breath forever, stepping back from you to run her hand through her blonde locks.
"Oh really? Now imagine if I actually did fuck someone else? It would've felt really shitty wouldn't it?" You ask, that bitterness still so prominent in your tone. You couldn't help it, the irony of the situation is just too perfect.
Sana just glares at you and crosses her arms. For some reason you still can't bring yourself to move. You're still stuck there. "Will you ever be able to forgive me for that?" She asks and her demeanor stays the same. But you look into her eyes and you can see that she's genuinely asking like she wants you to forgive her, like she recognizes the pain she's put you through and she wants to fix it.
I don't know
"Sana...you fucking cheated on me, I've only been good to you... I just can't... why would you do that to me? How could you do that to me?" You ask the question that's been in the back of your mind for the longest time.
She comes closer and you allow it. You allow her to take your hand in hers as you stare into her eyes, waiting for an explanation, a reason. You need to know if it was your fault, if you could've changed anything, if you could've done something. "I was dumb and I wasn't thinking, baby" Her hand roams, reaching your face and she cups your cheek in her hand.
Shamelessly, you lean into it and it feels so warm, so soft. You hate it, you fucking hate her for doing this to you. The way she calls you baby makes those butterflies come back and you don't know how to feel. "Sana" You sigh and before you're able to say any words she's dropping to her knees in front of you. "What are you..." You start, but the words get caught in your throat when you realize what she's trying to do.
"I should show you how sorry I am" Her fingers hook over the waistband of your sweatpants and you let it happen.
Sana pulls them down, then your boxers go with it and you're soft. "I know you've missed me" She looks up at you as she takes your shaft into her hand. You exhale and look into her eyes but you don't respond to her. It's like you're outside of your own body, watching yourself in third person and you just can't bring yourself to do anything but watch.
Her soft hands are stroking you and it doesn't take long for you to get hard--less than a minute actually. "Sana" you whisper as she holds her fist at your base, then she opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out. When the warm, wet muscle comes into contact with your tip the pleasure overcomes you. "Fuck" your eyes are hooded and your mind's going blank.
You can't think of anything else, not even what she's done to you, nothing but her tongue lapping at your precum. She swirls it around then it's eventually in her mouth and her lips are so soft, pressed up against your shaft. You close your eyes and allow yourself to feel every filthy suck, slurp and lick. The sounds begin to echo in your hallway as everything gets sloppier.
Sana begins twisting her hand around the shaft jerking you at the base while she handles your sensitive head with her mouth. It feels amazing. She wasn't wrong, you missed this so fucking much. Off of pure instinct your hand is in Sana's hair and you're threading your fingers through the silky blonde strands. "That feels so fucking.. good" You bite your lip then take a sharp breath through your nose.
There's an eager humming sound that Sana makes but it's muffled as she continues to stuff you deeper into her mouth. She's going faster now, bobbing her head like she's hungry for you, like she's missed this too.
She moves her hand just so she can have your entire shaft inside and it slides down her throat so easily, no resistance as her lips touch your base. Sana holds it there and her eyes begin to water as she looks at you through her eyelashes then she fucking swallows. Your vision goes blurry for a moment and a guttural moan forces it's way out from your throat.
Then Sana drags back and it slips out of her mouth. She takes a breather, wrapping two hands around your shaft one after the other and she begins to stroke up and down. "I want you to fuck my mouth with this big, thick cock" She leans forward and flicks her tongue on the tip, catching more precum. she takes one hand and massages your balls throughly "Use me, and don't you dare fucking stop until you dump this load down my throat." She squeezes your balls for emphasis.
Your jaw almost drops "Sana" then she prepares herself. She opens wide and tilts her head back slightly. So inviting. Then she allows you to take your cock into your hand and out of hers. You guide the tip into her mouth and push your hips forwards using both of your hands to hold her head in place. It's probably not the best thing to do but you can't control yourself, not when she looks like this. Especially because she's asking for it, offering you her mouth to show you just how sorry she is.
You have to admit, it's one hell of an apology.
"Your mouth is fucking... insane" You grunt as the tight warmth of her throat squeezes your cock. She gags and you let it stay there for a bit, she's struggling now that you're in control but she won't tap out. Not like this. It takes a moment until she's breathing through her nose smoothly and that's when you begin to move your hips.
You pull out, then right back in, almost losing it at the wet sound it makes. You lick your lips then you actually start fucking her mouth, using it just like she told you to.
It feels so incredible that you don't miss a thing. Especially her occasional gag when you accidentally lodge yourself too deep. The sight is one for the books too, she keeps her big eyes open as you use her. What Sana can't say, her eyes will. They're so inviting, telling you to keep going, keep using, keep fucking—everything.
It's so subtle that you barely notice it, but Sana begins to undo the button on her jeans. Then she pulls the zipper down and she circles her clit slowly. She moans softly, eyes squinting as she touches herself while you use her throat. You expected it sooner or later because it's what she usually did when she sucked you off.
"Ah" You moan, feeling the heat build up in the pit of your belly "You have no clue... how ready I am to dump this fucking load in your throat. She only looks at you because she can't even nod her head, your hold is too tight. She moans a little and you try to control your breathing. It's getting erratic and every muscle in your body is burning up. "Yeah, just keep letting me use this... fuck i'm cumming" You give her a warning right before it happens.
You hold her head extra firm as you slide your member all the way in, her nose touching your base as your cock pulses and throbs. You're completely filling her mouth with it, painting the inside white with your hot seed while you grunt through your teeth. The feeling is only extraordinary and pleasureful and when you finally come down, you slide your cock out.
She loses her balance, leaning over as she gasps and chokes and holds herself up with her hand. You allow her to take a second to breath and when she's okay, you watch as she slides the other hand out of her pants and sucks on her fingers. Then Sana gets up on her two feet and pushes you against the wall again, she kisses you harshly then uses her hand to stoke your hard cock "Sir" She uses the term that never fails to drive you crazy, it's the implied authority that gets you "I want you to take this cock and fucking use me until you're done. It's my apology to you"
If you weren't completely blinded by lust, you'd push her off of you and tell her to leave because what she did is unforgivable and she can't just fuck for forgiveness. But her gaze is way to powerful and you're not strong enough to push her away. So instead you nearly growl and grab her wrist to pull her into your bedroom. You fling her forwards and she catches herself on the bed, climbing onto it as you pull your shirt off.
You walk towards the bed and yank her jeans off, then her panties and you motion for her to take her top off as you get into the bed and in between her legs. She's looking at you like she fucking needs it, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth in the sexiest way. As you go to line yourself up, you stop when you remember something. You may have lost your mind but you still have enough sense to reach into your nightstand and grab a condom.
"What's that for?" She gives you a look as she watches you tear the package open with your teeth. You don't answer her, you just continue on to put it on. Once it is, you prod her entrance but Sana pushes on your lower abdomen to stop you. "Y/n" The look in her eye is serious, like it's unfathomable that you're trying to use protection right now.
"Sana"
"Take it off, I don't have anything" She blinks "and you should know that" You can tell she wants to hit you right now, but she refrains from doing so.
"It's not cause of that, I just don't want to make any mistakes" You shrug when you know that there's no true reason other than to punish her. "Now it's either you move your hand or you get the fuck out and you never see me again."
Just like you expect, she moves her hand. "but I can't - it'll be harder for me to.. you know"
"You told me to use you and that's what i'm going to do. I don't give a fuck if you cum or not"
The words sound so coarse leaving your lips and it causes Sana to shut her mouth. Her lips quiver a bit and her eyes start to well up but she holds her glare. You never liked being mean to Sana and quite frankly if you're being real with yourself it's a blatant lie. No matter what you want to have her cumming, creaming and squirting on your cock until she can no longer think.
But you won't let her know that
You slide in and the first thing you feel is this unfamiliar pressure that squeezes around you tightly. It's something you're definitely not used to but you'd bare with it because you have to. Then maybe you'll think about it.
Sana exhales a pleasureful sigh before grabbing you by your arms to pull you in and you lean over her and begin to move your hips. She's so wet and warm, so slippery that you can just glide your cock in and out of her cunt without any resistance. Almost perfect.
There's also this noise that you can hear, it's the obscene sound of her slick coating the latex each time you bottom out in her weeping pussy. You can feel it just enough that it has you biting your lip to stifle your own noises.
She's moaning heavily under you, although she said it'll be harder for her cum you know that she's still feeling the wide stretch that your thick cock faces her with. She's got her eyes closed and her hands clutching onto your arms as she wishes she could feel you bare with each vein scraping against her insides. It's something she's missed, but still something she'd have to earn back.
"Fuck - your cock.. it's so fucking -" A long whine follows and it's like she's completely forgotten whatever she was going to say in an attempt to tell you how good you're fucking her. She clenches and you feel it, almost shuddering when you do. Sana pulls your body down, slowing your movements as she gets her lips on your neck.
She sucks hard and you know she's leaving marks where she shouldn't be, you shouldn't let her but her lips feel too perfect on your body. It's all fucked up and you hate the fact that she's leaving deep red or purple marks on your skin. It tells you many things, one of them being that she still thinks you're hers and that you'll be hers forever.
The thing is, she might be right to think that way because you don't move or flinch. You can't tell if you hate her or love her. "Sana" You murmur, feeling her cunt begin to squeeze you wildly, like it's trying to suck you in deeper. She's stopped the assault on your neck by now and your mouth is right by her ear so she can hear every grunt and moan you let slip. "This pussy feels so fucking perfect wrapping around me" You kiss her cheek and let your jaw hang open, your teeth scrape against the soft skin and you get a taste of the sweat that's built up on her cheek"
"T-The best you've ever had... right?"
You almost lose yourself and say 'yes' but you stop right before. She gets off on that, she always has. So you keep quiet and you quicken your pace. The moment she begins to react to the change in speed is absolutely priceless. Her high pitched moan, her mouth hanging open, the look of pure devastation in her eyes, everything. "Shit - please, please, please"
You hum and she wraps her legs around your waist, ankles pressing into you lower back. "Aw look at you. You're getting so close, Sana" You say it in a smug tone, hot against her ear. "What happened to having a hard time cumming?"
"I'm - I'm - I'm - I - Fuck" She sputters "Don't stop, don't you dare fucking stop" A crackled whisper escapes her lips and you have to bite back a smirk. Does she seriously think she has any power right now? Is what you ask yourself before doing something so villainous, you think she might actually cry or curse you out.
You slip your cock out of her wet heat and the guttural sob that escapes her throat is nothing short of perfection. The raw emotional grief in her voice makes you feel all too powerful and it might make you even more fucked up than she is. "Fuck you!" Her legs loosen around your waist and she kicks her legs at you and you stop her by grabbing her legs, laughing a bit in response. "I fucking hate you" She huffs.
With a smirk on your face, you grab her by the hips and in a swift motion you flip her over. You straddle the backs of her thighs, remembering just how much she loved to be pinned and fucked like this. With her face buried in the sheets and her body being forced through the bed. So you slide your cock past her warm ass cheeks and back into that sopping cunt. "Fuck" She drags out as you push yourself to the hilt, knowing that this angle never failed to fuck her up. "You better fuck me hard, fuck me and make me fucking cum on your cock. I fucking need it"
"Not even a please?" You snicker while you prepare to actually wreck her. Despite her crude language you can tell she's so fucking horny and needy for you. Ready to cum all over your fucking cock and be used until you release your load anywhere you want.
Definitely not inside
"Fuck y-" She can't even curse you right because you've decided to shut her up by completely bottoming out in her cunt. What cuts her insult short is nearly a scream that could probably be heard by everyone on your floor.
You lean over and plant your fists in the mattress for better leverage. It allows you to plow into the soft cushion of her ass so easy, your cock angled perfectly to jab into that spot that can turn her dumb in no time. Her moans go into that higher pitch and you watch as her hands search recklessly for something to grab. The sheets do just the right job.
"Sana..." You grunt "This cunt is fucking creaming for me" You look down, just to see how the condoms been completely painted white with her sticky substance.
Her walls start to convulse and clench erratically and she's right there, just so close to letting herself go. You keep your pace, deciding that you'll be nice and let her cum because this'll be a day she'll remember for years no matter where she ends up, or rather who she'll end up with.
Cause it can't be you, right?
You don't think about it too much, you're focused on the mindless murmuring that you can't even begin to make out because she's doing it with her face pressed into the bed. Her back arches and her ass raises into your thrusts and that's when you know it's happening. "Already sweetheart? we've just switched positions" You snicker and she doesn't even have the brain power to curse at you because she's right fucking there.
Sana gasps and her upper body presses deeper into the mattress while her ass just chases your cock, like she needs it deep forever. "Cumming - I'm fucking - God" She groans and shudders through the remainder of the orgasm. Her entire body is feeling the waves, the shocks, everything as she cums and that's how you just know it was good.
She stops and her body lays flat on the bed again so you begin to move your hips. "Now it's my turn" You grunt as the heat builds up in the pit of your stomach "Where do you want it Sana?" There's nothing she says, she just moans weakly into the sheets "Want my load on your back?" No response "Want it in your mouth?" Nothing "Want it all over that pretty face of yours?" You continue and it's almost as if she doesn't really care where you cum.
Or thats what you think until "Or... do you want me to pull this condom off and fuck my cum deep into this raw cunt" She clenches tight, and you almost lose it right then and there.
"Where... ever - fuck - you want" She does her best to turn her head and look up at you, those eyes telling you that she wants to be bred and claimed by you. But she doesn't say it, it's like she can't bring herself to. Or she just won't.
Either way, you're not giving her what she wants.
It takes you a few more strokes and just a bit of concentration because of the condom but you're just about ready to burst. You think about it for a moment, getting careless and fucking a baby into her. Maybe you'll raise it together, maybe it'll mend your broken relationship. You seriously think about it, knowing that she probably isn't on any birth control and you could actually breed her, right here, right now. This pretty thing thats under you, writhing and moaning would be tied to you forever if you had a kid together.
"Fuck" You gasp as you pull out with swiftness, peeling the condom off before struggling to get to where her face is. Sana opens her mouth weakly and you get your cock into your fist the moment it all happens. You're cumming, almost keeling over when the ectasy hits you like a brick. You look down and it's absolutely covering her, some getting in her mouth. You make sure to pull the rest of it out, smearing the last bit of white on Sana's face.
She swallows what she caught in her mouth and gives you a smile "I hope you take it into consideration, what with my apology and all"
"Take what into consideration"
"Taking me back"
Yeah right, Hell no
-
Maybe you aren't to be taken serious, maybe no one should ever take you serious because you obviously can't even take yourself serious. It's only been a month since that day with Sana. How the fuck does she keep ending up in your bed, every. fucking. night.
She's like a fucking disease, you can't get rid of her.
You tell her you hate her, she giggles and says she hates you more. You tell her to get out, she stays and you end up fucking. You tell her you don't love her, she kisses you. It's like she knows you're full of shit, like she knows you.
Each day she shows up at your door she proves that theory right.
It's no surprise that you're in love with her, you've come to terms with that recently. But somehow, this new look of hers has really been wrecking you. It's the way she rocks the bleach blonde hair with such confidence. Like she knows whenever she walks into a room, all eyes are on her and they don't stop staring until she isn't present anymore.
She loves the attention and it kills you. You first witnessed it when she convinced you to take her out a week ago. The waiter couldn't keep his eyes off of her and it didn't help that she wore a dress that had her tits practically spilling out. Instead of telling her to cover up, you ended up punching the guy right in his face.
Then you took Sana home and fucked her on your couch cause you were too impatient to make it to the bed. You needed her to know she was yours in that immediate moment.
It wasn't always like that before. When you could actually trust her you couldn't give a fuck about what she wore or how she wore it, cause you knew that nobody else could have her.
Now that that's not so clear anymore, you need to make her aware of it every time.
It's maybe one in the morning and you're fucking her again. You've got her bent over, on her hands and knees in your hallway. Again, you couldn't make it to the bedroom because when you got here you pushed her against the wall and began kissing her. Then you had her pinned as you fucked her into the wall and somehow you both sunk to the floor.
"You've been such a good fucking girl for me lately" You mutter as you bring her to the brink of her next orgasm "Keeping yourself all nice and untouched for me"
"All for you sir.. I'm yours I'm fucking.. yours" There's a shudder in her voice and in no time "I'm gonna fucking - fuck!" She warns, her needy body meeting each one of your thrusts. It's like you've got her addicted to you and she can't help but need your cock deeper inside.
A harsh slap lands on her ass and she yelps "Do it Sana, cum for me" You grunt and it takes a moment for her to get through this one because it hits her like an 18-wheeler. The way she freezes like a deer in headlights then falls apart like she's having a seizure. She's cumming so hard that you think of asking her if she's alright. But she's more than alright, the way she fucks her cunt on your cock tells you that much.
You're not wearing a condom and you know it's stupid and reckless but you went through all of them and when you reached for one, there weren't any left. Sana looked all pouty, telling you that you could always just pull out while also reminding you that she's been good and that she's just so fucking horny and needy for you that nothing else could satisfy her that wasn't your cock going so deep down her cunt that you hit her cervix. Maybe not literally, but you catch the drift.
Anyways the idea of pulling out starts to seem more and more impossible as you allow yourself to enjoy the feel of her velvety walls. The way they squeezed onto you all slick and wet and warm. It felt almost too good. You have to slow down, cause if you keep going at this rate you might...
That's not good
"Gonna cum soon" You announce and you don't even know where. There's only one thought in your mind. Fill her, fill her, fill her. It tells you and your entire body begins to tremble. "Sana, be a good girl and tell me what you want" You hunch your body over hers because if you're going to do this, you need to hear it from her. She presses chest into the floor, now she's face down ass up. She doesn't say anything and you're only getting closer so you fist a handful of those blonde locks. She moans loudly but that's not enough "Say it Sana, or else you're not getting fucked for a month"
You know that'll be just as much torture for you as it is for her but you're hoping to God that of all things she knows about you, she doesn't pick up on that. "Fuck okay! I want you to fucking breed me... need your cum deep in my fucking cunt" She finally breaks and just like that your cock begins pulsing. You loosen your grip on her hair as you use her cunt and fuck your load deeper.
She clenches like she's trying to milk you for absolutely everything you've got "Thank you" She whispers.
-
"So.. you came in me"
"Yep"
"And all of a sudden you actually want us to try again? No bullshit"
You nod your head, trying to make sense of it all in your own head. You don't know why exactly you're taking her back, nor do you know why you're climbing into bed with her. "All I know is that... despite what you did to me, I still love you. I love fucking you, I love cuddling you and I love waking up next to you" You sigh cause you know it's pathetic and she doesn't deserve it but the way she holds you and runs her fingers through her hair has those butterflies coming back.
Maybe you do know how you allowed Minatozaki Sana to ruin your life
#kpop gg#kpop smut#twice#sana twice#girl group smut#twice sana#minatozaki sana#smut#sana smut#kpop idol#kpop fanfic#fanfic#sana minatozaki
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🤍.
#it’s been a month without her#how can time pass by so fast#I have never spent so much time without seeing her#except for the lockdown#cause we sent 54 days apart#it was so stressful and scary#and now it will be this same feeling forever#there is no way i will stop missing her#i tear up every time im thinking of her#i can barely say the word and mention her now#i think think you can get used to it in the way people say#i think you will always miss them but will create this safe imaginary life in your mind#where they still are beside you and you kinda feel them around you all the time#but it wont go away#some voids are too big to pretend you are gonna replace that emptiness with something else#i miss her and I will forever wish I could have had her here just one more minute#one minute. i wish memory could help me remember what did we talk about the last time i call her#but it keeps giving me just one painful memory of her saying it was so long until we would see again’#I wish I was there for her#i am being good at divind work case and my real life#i dont get much stressed now#but this feeling of loneliness i feel is overwhelming and i hope she will prove to me she’s here somehow#I desperately want to say to her I am sorry I wasn’t there and im sorry I left#the only thing i know is she was proud of me and that the only comfort thought i have
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For A While...
Summary: Spencer Reid x Fe!Reader -> You were first introduced to Spencer through Emily, however, six years later, it seems some things are beginning to change.
Disclaimer: 16+ CM level violence. Descriptions of torture, death and stalking. This is part two. Part one can be accessed here. Fluff towards the end. Pining. Angst (kinda). Not proof read.
Five Months Later…
The last five months had been like agony for Spencer.
He’s spent the last five months trying his best to figure out his feelings for you until one morning he walked into work, determined to look less like a complete confused mess as he had done for the last several days.
His tie was still a little crooked, but his hair was neater than when he’d rolled out of bed, and his shirt wasn’t creased. And with a coffee in his hand, he was waking up a little faster than usual. Except, just as he stepped through the doors, he saw you by your desk.
No-one was in the office yet. You’d been removing your scarf and coat, laying them on the back of your chair when he spotted you and the voice in his head said…
I love you.
He’d shocked himself.
Of course, he had already known his feelings ran deep for you. But it was the first time the actual words had been spoken out loud, or in the very least, to himself.
And it had been agony ever since.
He was pretty sure he managed to hide it, though he doubted that the team didn’t at least have their suspicions. If Emily had figured it out with only a couple of days, the team had seen them both for months.
However, Spencer was certain of one thing.
He had it under control.
Like he had told Emily, he didn’t want to lose you. And if that meant forever being your friend, living with a cage around his heart when he was with you that felt as if it was crushing his soul, he could happily live with that.
Until, one day, Spencer wondered why he’d built the cage in the first place. Because as much as he was aware of the dangers both of your jobs posed, he never thought he could lose you because of that.
The team had been flown to Oregon for a case. Four women had been killed in the town, all with a similar look, background and lifestyle. And the further you were looking into the case, it didn’t just seem to be in Oregon. The bodies trailed over the years across the country, and from what you could figure, the first had been in Virginia.
However, the longer you all worked on the case, the more the nagging feeling in your gut grew. Something felt too familiar about the case.
“We have to be missing something. We already know this guy stalks his victims, right. He knows what they do for work, he makes sure he knows what they’re doing at all times. He prays for the right moment when they're alone or they’re away from their general routine.”
“If it was a bigger pattern you could say he’s picking them at random.”
“But I don’t think he is. I mean, look at how each of the victims are described.”
They were described as smart, happy, hard working. If they ever stepped out of their routine, it was because they had to. The first victim drove a little out of town because her usual restaurant she ordered from was shut. The second because she needed cabinet hinges. The third because she needed to stop for gas but there was a diversion on the road, sending her to another.
The rest of the team continued talking but when Spencer looked over to you, you seemed…off.
“Hey, I’m gonna go and get some coffee. You guys want some?”
“Sure, that’d be great.”
“Thanks.”
Spencer knew that look on your face a little too well. You needed space. Why, he didn’t know. But he also knew it was better not to follow you.
Except, he couldn’t help but wish he could turn back the clock and do exactly that.
An hour later, you still hadn’t returned.
After twenty five minutes, they figured maybe there was a long cue. After thirty five, they figured maybe they had been changing the coffee filter just as you got there.
When you didn’t pick up your phone after an hour…they got worried.
So, sending Derek and Spencer to the coffee shop to try and find you, Hotch, JJ, Rossi and Blake stayed behind in case it was just that they were changing the filter and there was a long cue and your phone had died.
Except, when Spencer and Derek returned half an hour later having searched up and down the block, in every cafe, coffee shop, convenience store and gas station, they all knew something was wrong.
“She’s not any of them. The cashier said she hadn’t even come in today.”
“That’s not good.”
From the screen, Garcia popped up.
“Guys, I’m getting a live feed. You’re gonna want to see this, though…I don’t know if you’ll want to.”
“What is it, Garcia?”
Garcia said nothing, but her face said it all. With a couple of clicks, the feed was up on the full screen and everyone in the police department was watching it.
“How long have you had this Garcia?”
“The alert came in only a few moments before I called you, but according to the chat room, it’s been prepared for a couple of hours, but went live about forty minutes ago. I think you should also know, I was invited to this.”
“Invited?” JJ asked.
“Believe me, I’ve had every corner that I know of, being monitored. But apparently this is a new one.”
Everyone looked a little closer to the screen, and eventually it got a little brighter. Most likely from a light on the further wall.
And everyone’s hearts sank.
It was you.
You had a gash on your head, most likely where the unsub had hit you across the head. From the look on your face as you move your body ever so slightly, it wasn’t the only place on you that was wounded.
The camera angles kept changing, offering a different view of the room, though there wasn’t much to see other than you, beaten and bloodied, zip tied and chained to a bolted down chair.
Then someone came into shot.
The unsub.
He approached you slowly, bringing with him a damp cloth, gently pressing it to your head.
“It’s okay. Take it easy.”
You forced your eyes open, but when you were met with the reality of who it was, your face turned into shock, fear, disgust and anger.
You jerked back, unable to move any further than you had tried before.
“Get the hell off me.”
“It’s okay, don’t be like that.”
The unsub spoke softly to you.
“Get away from me. Get off me.”
“You don’t have to be like this.”
Then you spotted the camera.
“You’re filming this?”
“I thought your friends might like to see it. See how safe you are.”
“Safe?!” both yourself and Spencer asked.
“Garcia, can you get a clear shot of the unsub?”
“No, sir. He hasn’t looked at the camera fully.”
“Then look into Y/l/n’s past. She knows him. Or, he knows her. Maybe they’ve crossed paths somewhere before.”
“Already on it, Sir.”
It would take a little longer for the team to realise your relationship to the unsub. And your connection to the victims.
“I told you you’re safe with me, you don’t have to worry any more.”
“You kidnap me and tell me not to worry?!”
“I can take care of you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Why take her though? Why follow her? It’s too risky.”
“Maybe it’s his endgame.” Spencer said out loud, the cogs turning over and over in his head. Then he moved towards the evidence board, rearranging things around where he’d written your name in a bubble.
He needed to keep moving, proving to himself he was alive. Or else he might break more than he ever had.
“How would you describe her?”
“Smart.” JJ began, following what Spencer was getting at.
“Hard working.”
“A stickler for routine. She’s fixed. Doesn’t often change what she likes.”
More comparisons came out and Spencer had proven his point.
“I’m wondering if he was her first victim. Or if she was his catalyst.”
Everyone turned back to the screen when they heard a loud strike.
“It WAS me!”
It took you a moment before you rolled your head back up and looked from the camera to him.
“It never was you, that was the whole point.”
“Only because you couldn’t see what I could offer you.” He pulled a chair harshly in front of you and sat down. The camera still had a clear shot of your face, but just the back of his head.
“I saw you, a few years ago. Who was he?”
“Who was who?”
“That-that-that guy! The one you think you wanted! The one you thought could offer you everything!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
Another strike across the face. Then he grabbed you.
“I saw how you looked at him. Like he was the whole world. Your whole world.”
“When even was-”
“Six years ago. I was coming out of a bar. Couple of buddies wanted me to go with them but I knew I had to find you. And I was stupid enough to think you’d be waiting for me. Instead, I found you with him. Standing outside your apartment. I didn’t wait around for the kiss.”
His name slipped from your mouth before you could stop yourself.
“So, you remember him? You remember him? You remember him…”
Of course you remember him. How could you not? You worked with him every single day.
The unsub was growing more emotional. From accusatory to confusion to a sadness of acceptance.
Then anger.
“You remember him!? And all he had to do was walk you home?!” The unsub laughed before pausing and kicking the chair over, sending it flying into a wall.
You jumped at his quickness and the loudness of the noises.
“Do you know how long I have been trying to get your attention?! How long I have spent trying to show you that you have feelings for me? You might deny it, but we both know it’s true. It has been since we first met. I know you didn’t know, but I saw it in your eyes, in that kindness you showed me when no one else did. You volunteered to be my partner, remember?”
“For the…the forest run?”
“You do remember.”
The unsub got down on his knees in front of you, clutching at your jacket.
“See, this just proves-”
“I volunteered because Sophia didn’t want to be left alone with you.”
“What?”
“I opted to take her place to make her feel safe.”
As you continued to explain, Hotch and Garcia tracked your phone numbers and social media posts until she found Sophia.
“So you don’t feel safe with me, but you’ll feel safe with Spencer?”
“Please, don’t bring him into this.”
“Why not?”
The unsub sat back. “Why not? Go ahead, tell me. This wouldn’t happen to be the same Doctor Spencer Reid, would it?”
You tried to deny it, but no words came from your mouth.
The unsub became deflated.
“And let me guess, you have feelings for him…you…you even…love him. Why do I not measure up? Because I don’t work for the FBI? Because I’m not a Doctor? What is it that makes him so much better that he earns your love?”
“Please, just-”
“It should be me! What can he give you that I can’t?”
Then he pushed the hair from your face and held it against your head, forcing you to look at him.
“I could have given you everything. I still can. Just tell them you’re safe, and I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you, ever again.”
“Please, don’t-”
He turned to stand behind you, forcing you to look directly into the camera where the team could see the trails left behind through the blood on your cheeks, where your tears had flooded through them.
“TELL THEM!”
“Garcia, please tell me you have something.”
“Uh, maybe, I-I don’t know. I can’t be certain.”
“I’ll take what I can get, Garcia.”
“Well, I, uh-”
“Now, Garcia.” Spencer called out, his voice oddly even and a little cold.
“Sophia said his name was Toby-something. But I’ve looked through her files, her socials. There isn’t a single Toby, or Tobias or even Tobe.”
“Can you get a picture of him?”
“I’ve got a few, I’m running them through my database now.”
“What about Emily?” JJ asked. Everyone looked at her. “She grew up with Emily, right? Maybe she’ll know something.”
Spencer was already on the phone.
“Emily? Emily, listen to me. Was there anyone in Y/n’s past that she had trouble with? An ex boyfriend or something in college?”
“I- Reid, is everything okay?”
“Garcia will catch you up, but please. Was there anyone she talked about? Maybe a Toby-someone?”
Suddenly, Emily’s voice turned cold. “Reid, where is she?”
“Emily?”
“Back when she was in college, she was having trouble with a guy. Everyone called him Toby but his real name Jonathan. Toby was his middle name. He seemed fixated on her and one day, she found him in her apartment on campus. She called me and I got her out. After that, he seemed to disappear, but she always was weary.”
“Okay, send all the details you can to Garcia.”
“Already happening.”
All the team could do was wait and watch, hoping something would jump out at them to help find you.
“Do you love him?”
“I need to hear it from you. Do you love him?”
He picked up a weapon of some kind. A knife maybe.
“No, no, I can’t watch!” Garcia called out, turning her chair away.
A backhanded slap came across your face, the edge of the knife, cutting your cheek.
“Do. You. Love. Him?” Toby screamed louder.
Garcia squealed a little, hearing his arm movement. But just when she expected you to scream in pain, anyone who was listening heard what you said next.
“YES!” you screamed, fear of what was going to come next taking over. Maybe it would have been best to lie. But he wouldn’t have accepted it. And if he was going to kill you…
Toby faltered, looking down at you in heartbroken shock.
“Yes, yes. I do. I love him. Please…please don’t hurt me…I-”
Toby dropped the knife, the sound clattering on the floor, and he stepped back. Even from behind, they could all see the changes in his body movement.
From shock, heartbreak, to more shock to…anger.
And fear flashed across your face.
“No, no, no. Please. Toby- what-what are you doing?”
He was moving around the room, gathering things.
“Toby, please. Please don’t-”
Then the screen went dark.
“Garcia! Please tell me you have something!”
“Almost. Hold on. Wait.”
“We can’t-”
“The footage is still running. There’s no picture or sound, but it’s still running. Maybe if I can just- I’ve got her.”
“Garcia, send us the address.”
“Already done. Please bring her back safe.”
Toby had taken you forty minutes out of town, held up in a small town shed on a small plot of land he’d rented in cash, save for the electric bill that was in his name from a month earlier. Garcia couldn’t trace the address, but she could find the closest cell tower. And with a little cross reference, she found you.
All the team could do was hope you were still alive by the time they got to you.
It was agonising to listen to, but your screams let them know you were still alive. And when Morgan kicked down the door, Toby turned around you, holding your body against his front.
He’d changed you from being tied down in the chair to being strung up by your wrists. By the looks of it, however, you had managed to fight back, presumably in the small window of time you did have.
“Come any closer and I’ll kill her.”
“No you won’t, Toby.”
“Won’t I?!”
You whimpered a little as the blade pushed further into your skin.
“You love her, don’t you? Don’t you want to see her happy?”
“She IS happy. She’s happy with me.”
“Really, Toby? Because I wouldn’t say she looks happy. I’d say she looks scared. Terrified, even.”
“No, no, no she’s not.”
“Morgan…”
“She loves me! She has to love me!”
“But she doesn’t. And do you really think this is how she’s going to fall in love with you? By forcing her into it?”
Toby changed.
“Doctor Reid. Doctor Spencer Reid. This is him, isn’t it? This is the one that took you from me? Maybe once I’m done with you, maybe, maybe he’ll be next.”
“No…”
“Or you can choose me. Choose me and they don’t get hurt. Choose me and-”
You jumped at the sound.
A gunshot.
Everything went silent and then the knife clattered to the floor once more, soon followed by Toby’s body.
For a moment, you heard JJ’s voice coming from Derek’s wire, and then everything came back into a blurry focus.
“Is it over? Is-is he dead?”
Reid moved closer, checking his pulse before nodding to Morgan.
“It’s over.”
“Thank god, please get these off me.”
Spencer was closer, taking his pocket knife out before cutting your binds, allowing you to stand fully on the floor once more.
Your arms wrapped around Spencer both out of necessity, since your legs gave way for a moment, and out of need to hug someone, anyone, who wasn’t Toby.
In his arms, Spencer could feel your entire body shaking. So he simply held you tighter.
“Is-is it-are you sure it’s over?”
“It’s over. Let's get you out of here.”
Spencer helped you out of the shed before walking you over to the ambulance that was pulling up behind one of the SUVs.
“P-please don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
And he did.
Spencer stayed with you as they helped you into the ambulance and drove you to the hospital, he stayed with you as the doctors talked you through where they were taking you and what would happen and he was right there waiting for you, as you had asked, when you got out.
And when they finally found you a room, he stayed by your side, holding your hand.
Even hours later, you were still shaking with nerves and adrenaline.
“Have you called Emily?” you asked after a few hours of silence.
Spencer nodded. “She knows what happened. She’s also said she’s gonna catch the next flight out once they open the airports in London. Some storms closed the runways.”
You just nodded.
“Hey Spencer?”
Spencer hummed.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For…for what happened. I-I don’t know how much you saw from the footage but Toby…I should have lied. I should have tried to keep your name-”
Spencer shot out of his seat and sat on your bed facing you, slowly taking the hand you used to squeeze your eyes shut from crying, into his.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s-”
“It’s okay. All I care about is that you’re safe. Emily…she already knew. She… a couple months ago, she talked to me about it…because she figured that was how I felt about you.”
“Spence, no, you don’t have to-”
“We can talk about it more, when you’re better, but I just…I need you to know, you’re not alone. And I don’t want you to be sorry for what you said. Because, even though I’m sorry for how it had to happen, I’m not sorry about what was said.”
“You…you’re not?”
Spencer shook his head, looking down at your hands in his, his thumb tracing a constant pattern over your knuckles.
However, the familiar clicking of heels down the hall broke your intimate silence.
“We’ll talk about it?”
You nodded.
Garcia was calling out your name before she found your room and took a look at you.
“Oh, thank god.”
“Penelope,” you smiled.
And Spencer smiled, too. For the first time in the last week, let alone the last twenty four hours, you smiled. Genuinely smiled.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you sooner. If I-”
“It’s okay. You still found me. I’m okay.”
“I’m never letting you out of my sight again. And Emily will be here soon so it won’t just be me, you’ll have both of us. Maybe we can live like the Golden Girls.”
You struggled to laugh, but laughed all the same. “I’d like that.”
“Good, because you don’t have a choice.”
“I’ll give you two some space to plan your move,” Spencer smiled.
You smiled softly back at him as he slowly walked out of the room, but not before Penelope called his name. “Bring her back some jello! Orange, if they have it!”
Spencer nodded, however he didn’t need telling why orange. It was your favourite.
“How do you know that’s my favourite?”
“Emily told me.”
You smiled. There had been a week back in middle school when all you could stomach was orange jello. You’d have thought that after being sick for a week, you’d never want to eat it again. But that never happened.
The doctors kept you in hospital for the next couple of days whilst the rest of the team helped finish the last couple of cases at the police department.
When you were finally cleared to fly, Hotch and Emily were the ones to help you with your things.
Hotch explained what would happen when you all got back to the Bureau and what would happen with yourself and your job.
“I know you’ll be itching to get back to work, but I want you to take some time off.”
“I will. I promise.”
By the time you got to the jet, you weren’t up in the air an hour before you excused yourself from Rossi’s story time to sit by the one person who brought you the most peace.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Spencer smiled and shook his head, making space for you beside him on the sofa.
“Do you want to sleep?”
“What are you reading?”
He showed you.
“Wizard of Oz.”
“Want me to read it to you? Studies have shown it helps with sleep.”
“I’d like that.”
Within twenty minutes, you were fast asleep against Spencer’s chest. He’s turned himself so you could lean against him and see the small pictures that had been drawn, as he read.
And thankfully, Rossi’s stories kept everyone distracted long enough for yourself and Spencer to not experience the embarrassment of getting caught in such a compromising position, considering you were both just meant to be friends.
A week later…
Yourself and Spencer had seen Emily off in the Airport, and after that, Spencer had driven you home. You’d stopped off for some chinese food on the way back, and even though you’d both had…half conversations about what you’d said in the hospital, neither of you had come right out and said, well, anything.
Until you stopped in your tracks, forcing Spencer to do the same.
“Is everything-”
“I feel I need to confess something.”
“Do you need a church or-”
“It’s not that kind of confession.” you turned to face Spencer fully.
In two weeks time, you’d be going back to work. And you couldn’t take another two weeks, plus additional ones of whatever the awkward…thing was between you both. Like you each knew each other's secret, but didn’t know its full whereabouts.
“I love you,” you told him, finally. “I know it seemed forced, but it was the truth nonetheless. I love you. I am in love with you and…I don’t know what to do about it. Because, first and foremost, you’re my friend. And no matter what, I don’t want to lose what we have. I love you, but most of all I like you. I like being around you. I like listening to you talk about different books and music and the fact that whales can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. I-”
“I love you, too.”
That forced you to stop. And Spencer could see your eyes searching for an explanation.
“I don’t know how it happened. All I know is that one day I just…breathed for the first time. That I saw you and knew that if I stopped, I might die.”
“Sounds a little dramatic.”
Spencer laughed a little. “I guess it does. But it’s true. I’m in love with you. And I like you, too.”
You smiled.
“You know, I had a crush on you for the longest time.”
“Really? How long?”
Part of it baffled Spencer that you had perhaps had feelings for him longer than he did you, but most of all it baffled him how he hadn’t noticed.
“For a while…”
With a smile, you felt yourself leaning into Spencer. And he felt himself do the same thing until finally your lips met his.
The kiss was gentle at first, but became a little more searing as his hand gently brushed the hair from your face to behind your ear, and pulled you a little closer.
And you both just stood there for a while, pressed against each other, allowing each kiss to let you both know it was, in fact, very real.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fe!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds season nine#criminal minds bau#fbi bau#criminal minds level violence#fluff#angst#pining#jepoardy of life to saving said person#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#happy ending#spencer reid fluff#falling in love#confessions of love#spencer reid x bau!agent#doctor spencer reid
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Shane accepting himself as a dad
A/N – “Little” thought dump I wrote at the hairdresser today, I'll probably continue it when I find the time
I haven't played sdv in forever cause I can't find the charger of my switch I miss it
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Fandom: Stardew Valley (Shane x gn!Reader/Farmer)
Summary: Thoughts on the lead-up to Shane and Jas moving in with you
Tags: established relationship, tbh reader appears like thrice maybe, some fluff, some angst, some reverse comfort, no beta we die like my activity
Warnings: Some talks about alcoholism and mental illness cause it's Shane, a shit lot of miscommunication, brief talk of Shane and Farmer having own kids, death mention
Note: It got too long so I didn't get to the part where reader/farmer would've been more prominent so this is very focused on the dynamic between Shane, Jas and Marnie
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Thinking about how in the game when you marry Shane he doesn't take Jas with him
I wish she could live on the farm with you, but let’s actually look at that scenario and Marnie's place in it
Shane is Jas’ official caretaker, but with how his mental health and alcohol consume used to be he definitely wasn’t able to fully take care of her, I’m guessing Marnie did most of that. Like Shane DOES really care for her and did what he could, it just wasn’t enough when he got worse. Simultaneously he saw Marnie care for her the way he wished he could've and it just seemed so effortless (it wasn’t, she was just grieving differently). It made him feel like he could retreat from his parental role, have Marnie take it and stop himself from pulling Jas down with him, he didn’t want to be selfish and put her well-being at risk just to be the one playing parent.
Honestly, he was probably right in that decision, he couldn’t have fully cared for a child.
But it’s different now, he’s better now, he’s ready.
He starts spending more time with her again, no longer feeling like he’s a risk to her, no longer being so ashamed. He takes on tasks like making lunch and bringing her to bed more often.
He doesn’t even notice it until Jas, Marnie or you point it out, might write a scenario for that at some point but let’s move on for now
Anyway, he realizes he’s taken the role of a parent for her. And then you give him the mermaid pendant, and he’s so happy that everything is slowly working out.
When he comes home and tells Marnie she is quick to pull him into a tight hug, she’s so happy he’s managing to really turn his life around.
Jas is so so excited, asking when they'll move to the farm
Shane wants to have her come right with him, he's talked to you about it and you were quick to tell him you'd be happy to have her, but he realizes he should really talk to Marnie about that first.
So they kinda just redirect her question.
Later though they sit together and talk about the upcoming change of Shane's living situation.
At Shane’s declaration of wanting to take Jas right with him, Marnie is hesitant and gently suggests that might not be the best idea.
Shane believes it’s because Jas has become a daughter to her, something he actively pushed to happen by making her take all responsibility for the little girl (and for him too, actually), and he figures he doesn’t really have the right to take Jas from her after she has been the one taking care of her for so long.
Except that isn’t the reason at all. Marnie has never seen herself as Jas’ mom. She loves Jas a lot of course and she’ll surely miss her a lot once she moves, but she has never not seen Shane as the one to be Jas’ new parent.
She wants this for both Shane and Jas, but she’s just so worried. She’s seen Shane at his worst and all that has lead up to it, seen him almost get better but then fail again more often than she’d like to have.
She’s honestly more worried about Shane than Jas. What if Shane takes on too much responsibility at once? His new role as a husband, the changes that come with living on the farm, and then he'll also be fully responsible for Jas? She's worried he'll end up feeling overwhelmed and get worse again. And then if Jas sees it this time, oh gosh... (Okay, maybe it is about Jas)
Now bear with me it's about to get a little confusing
Shane doesn't know that's the reason, Marnie doesn't tell him outright to not upset him.
So when she brings up the hint of “are you sure? She can stay here some longer too” he thinks it's because of her relationship with Jas and he's just like “yeah y'know maybe that works” because he doesn't want to take Jas from her after making Marnie take care of her so long, however she thinks it's because he really does think it'd be too much at once.
So they're like “okay good talk” and go their ways and while Marnie is like “okay cool I'll help some more till he feels able to care for her fully” Shane is knocking on your door having half a breakdown like “I fucked up I'll never get to take on the role of her father”
On a side note, he went to the farm and not the saloon, and both of you have a brief moment of gratitude for the fact so let's take a second to appreciate him for that too
Alright, he has been appreciated
But yeah, I kinda hc their communication isn't great in general. It's not for lack of trying (not anymore, it used to be a factor when Shane wasn't doing well) or something causing arguments, it's more so a thing where the two talk and then think everything is fine when they in reality have talked past each other so hard.
It's usually silly, small stuff like chores or something and resolved with a quick clarification and doesn't cause issues – except this time it did.
Anyway, he's at your doorstep, kinda having a breakdown.
You let him in of course, get him some water, gently tell him to calm down and tell you what happened.
His explanation is not very coherent, consisting mainly of him repeating how he fucked up, it might very well spiral into a full on panic attack.
Shane's not usually someone to panic but this is about Jas, who is the most important thing in the world to him, not to forget the only way he knew how to cope is kind of gone.
After a while he manages to explain what's going on more clearly, how he so badly wants to care for Jas the way he should have from the start, but he can't because he made mistakes he can't fix, how Marnie has taken that role and is entirely reasonable in wanting to keep it.
Then he breaks down again.
You don't really know what to do, he's in a terrible state, and what can you say? If the situation was truly how Shane presented it (which you assumed of course) there wouldn't really be much you could do to help.
You end up calling his therapist, he's against the idea at first but caves at your pleading look.
He's put you in situations in which you had to try help him with no idea how to before, hell he's made you fear for his life with this kind of bullshit before! He doesn't want you to go through that again.
In the beginning you sit with him, help explain to his therapist what happened, let Shane lay his head on your chest while talking to her.
When after a while he is much calmer you go make his favorite dinner, waiting for him to finish the phone call.
They make an appointment for Saturday and Shane hangs up, wordlessly coming over to you and letting himself fall into your arms. You have dinner and go to bed, deciding it's better for him to stay with you tonight, and maybe also the next few day. You'll figure out how to go on about this on Saturday.
Meanwhile Marnie has no idea about all of this and tells Jas about the decision (she thinks) they made, how Shane will move to the farm but needs some time to “settle in” as she calls it, and then Jas can move there too later on.
She's bummed about not getting to come along right away but is generally okay with the idea, not much bothered.
This whole misunderstanding is only really revealed when Jas and Shane cross parts the next time. This could be several days later, or the next one which I'm gonna go with.
Unfortunately for Shane, Jas was already planned to come to the farm that day to “help” (aka pet your animals) so she shows up there in the morning and it's. A bit awkward. Not that she'd notice, though.
Inevitably the topic of Shane moving to the farm comes up. It's in bypassing, it doesn't really matter how, but it causes even more chaos.
She says something about how she'll miss him when he moves to the farm, which feels like a punch in the gut to him, cause he doesn't even know she just means in the short while till he gets her over there too.
He tries not to let it show in front of her, it's not her fault, so he tries to play over his reaction by saying something along the lines of “I'll miss you too, but you and Marnie can come visit. If the farmer and me start a family you can come over and-”
And like damn. Not the best thing he could've said in that situation.
Cause up until just know she thought she was coming after him like a month or something later!
Jas' eyes fill with tears and she has such a look of betrayal on her face Shane doesn't even finish his sentence.
“You don't want me here?”
And he's just like fuck lol
In retrospect he doesn't actually know what Marnie told Jas and how she explained the decision to her. Thinking about it she probably didn't exactly go “Hey actually Shane used to be a good for nothing alcoholic so I decided I'm your mom”
But wait, does Jas want to stay with him on the farm?
Because yeah wait!! He did not consider that and how she feels about this.
Meanwhile Jas is now also a victim of the miscommunication between Marnie and Shane (aren't we all?)
Before Shane can think of something to say she's bolting, running back home.
You - who watched the interaction happen - and Shane go after her, coming to the ranch to find Jas crying in her bed with Marnie sitting next to her and trying to coax her into explaining what happened. When she sees you she moves away from her, figuring you two must have a better idea of what's going on.
Shane takes Marnie's place and asks Jas why she's crying.
She looks up at him with a heartbreaking expression and says “You said you'll start a family, but what about me?” (not rlly like that but I suck at dialogue)
And Shane is like “Marnie is your family”
I love him but.... shut up, Shane!!
That blow was so hard both you and Marnie could feel it!
In his defense, he realizes that was dumb as fuck like immediately after.
“I mean... fuck, she's been a mom for you so long, way more than I ever was, I can't just take you away now”
And Marnie stiffens cause like that's the moment it starts dawning on her something didn't go quite right in their earlier communication. And then you notice her reaction and it starts dawning on you as well and you kinda just look at each other like “oh shit”.
Which Shane and Jas are completely unaware of.
“She's not my mom! I don't want her to by my mom”
And Jas is honestly really irritated by Shane's interpretation of their family dynamic because yeah Marnie has taken care of her a long time and she's really close to her of course but she still never saw her as something other than her aunt, just like Marnie always considered Jas her niece.
“Why don't you want to be my dad?”
It's sort of a breaking point for all four of you.
For Shane it feels like in a matter of seconds he's reliving every moment since the day Jas' parents died. They chose him as the one who'd take in Jas if something happened to them. They could've decided on Marnie, but they didn't. In that moment he realizes that maybe his fear of this parental role he really did want to take not being rightfully his was never about Marnie to begin with.
At the same time, Marnie and you decide to finally intervene. She gently pulls him towards the door, telling him they have to talk, meanwhile you sit with Jas to comfort her.
You let her climb into your lap and hug her, just holding her and waiting for Marnie and Shane to finish talking, until she speaks up again quietly
“Do you not want me on the farm?”
And you're of course immediately telling her you do!! You want her there, you consider her family and she goes “I think Shane doesn't” and like no he does!! He's just stupid!
Except you don't say that to her of course cause don't say that to her.
Meanwhile Marnie is torn between hugging Shane because man he's apparently spent years thinking he has no place as her parent and scolding him cause how the fuck did he spend years thinking he has no place as her parent.
It ends up being the scolding (gently though, she does get where he was coming from).
She explains everything to him, from exactly how she feels about Jas to what she meant when she suggested to have Jas stay with her.
“You're her father now. Her parents chose for you to be and she did too. You're her dad, and nothing you or I do can change that”
And it's wild because he realizes he has always refused those titles. He always talked about his parental role or his role as a father, yeah, but he's never dared call himself her dad. But he is, isn't he?
They have a long talk and Shane learns his place in the family was never a question, while Marnie has her anxiety over Shane taking on too much at once calmed.
They settle on Jas staying at the ranch on weekdays and the farm on weekends for the first month, so he can settle and you can get used to having a child around all the time. After that she'll move to the farm entirely, with the promise to have her stay at Marnie's a bit if Shane ever feels like it's too much for him.
He goes back to Jas' room to explain everything to her and tell her she'll of course come along to his new life.
And when he opens then door he sees you sit with Jas – with his daughter - in your arms, petting her hair comfortingly and he's like yeah.
That's his family.
#sdv shane#sdv shane x farmer#sdv shane x reader#sdv x reader#sdv x farmer#stardew valley x reader#stardew valley x farmer#stardew valley#sdv#stardew valley shane#stardew shane#shane stardew valley#sdv jas#stardew jas#stardew marnie#sdv marnie#x reader
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ok so: Beast-Ancients Swap AU but actually the Beasts messed up the timeline and made it one
(I will explain I swear-) The following sprite edits and designs were a collaborative effort of me and @driftwoodmfb
(Lily's design and edit is not finished yet, and Ssalt isn't getting one until that character is released-)
general shoutouts to Driftwood for collaborating with me on this in a lot of aspects btw she's the mvp of this whole project
I am Very bad at concise descriptions but basically: "5v5 climactic final showdown occurs but the bad guys win and then the group consensus on what to all do together to compromise thanks to slightly different priorities is 'Hey we all really hate the ancients now so let's just like. Screw them over' so they basically used their combined virtues' powers or something (look all of this I came up with just to justify the AU's actual concept) to like reset and alter the timeline to swap their places with the ancients basically. and then they kinda accidentally get redemption arc'd in the process. Meanwhile the og ancients... are not happy"
I'm def gonna post more about these guys in the future (and also I like. Encourage people to send asks because I need enrichment dndndnmd! I have a ton of stuff sitting around about them and I love talking about them- so. Here's my attempt at an overview (I. Suck at being concise this took all day to not make way too long dndndndm):
Shadow Milk Cookie - Calls himself the Dark Moon Magician. He's quite braggadocious and more than a little mischievous, quite the show-off too, but he has a good heart down there (nowadays). Though he has often had to be badgered by the Light of Truth into actually telling the truth on things...
Eternal Sugar Cookie - You'll meet them someday. Just not now.
Mystic Flour Cookie - Her face and voice do not do much to express how much she despises the Cookie she used to be, and the Cookie she still sees whenever she looks in the mirror. She is the most eager to come clean to her Cookies, but something is holding her back... she decides to save it for when she has finally repented enough by her standards, to earn her position as queen. It's never enough.
Burning Spice Cookie - For the kingdom he rules, you may (or may not) be surprised seeing how little he cares for material riches. To him, lived experiences are the most precious things- hence why he's always looking for a good fight. Or to just have fun with those close to him- which is not many as he has had a history of issues- after all, transient things fall to time, but the impressions they leave can last up to forever...
Silent Salt Cookie - The fallen hero. It wasn't supposed to happen again. They all knew it could happen, they agreed to prevent it. Why did they make the same mistake...?
Pure Vanilla Cookie - The embodiment of the most common lie. He can string Cookies up to make them move and speak against their wills. He does this to himself often, when he grows tired. He is very ashamed of what he has become, but no matter, he will be fine once he regains the light of Truth, and exposes the truth of this world to all Cookiekind...
Hollyberry Cookie - Berry juice is a comfort to her, such is why she had wished so badly to drown her mind and all her pain in it. She is... frankly, harmless the way she is now. She doesn't have the power, pride or energy to fight. Her heart is just as full of love as it's always been, even if her mind's gone fluffy as frosting. So much that even being in a permanent stupor won't stop her from missing her family, still...
Dark Cacao Cookie - As he describes himself fully, an empty vessel without a will of his own, whose only goal is to carry out the will of fate. He will play his part in this story, for he knows there is no other way. After all, they'd tried to resist already, and it was all in vain. He is cold, empty, such was his resolve: to be unburdened by feeling, so that he would feel no pain...
Golden Cheese Cookie - Calls herself the Demonic Goddess. When she gets upset, she tends to fly into fits of destruction- which she has become very, very good at causing. She laughs it off, she laughs a lot in general, but she really does not like what she's become. However, she is still the same greedy Cookie as she always was, and still wants nothing more than to annihilate the ones who had displaced her and her friends and take back what is rightfully hers...
White Lily Cookie - Founder of the Lily Kingdom. She is a stern, serious figure who tries to keep everything under her control. She quickly silences those who tell her what she does not wish to hear untrue, unkind, or unnecessary things. She does not get very openly emotional often, and tends to address everyone with the same attitude even if it's her friends. (They can generally tell when she means well). She plans to silence all lies from Cookies' mouths, especially regarding who the "Heroes" and "Beasts" are...
(i. Never mentioned the name of the AU itself the whole time in this post did I? Ok uh that's Immemorial Interchange btw if I ever say that or II then I'm talking about this thing for future reference XD)
Edit: I have a tag on my blog for the au and I just kinda post whatever I feel like. Hope y'all can enjoy this I'm probably gonna be dumping a lot of stuff I've held on to. And I would love it if people send asks X3
#cookie run#cookie run au#crk au#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#eternal sugar cookie#hollyberry cookie#mystic flour cookie#dark cacao cookie#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#silent salt cookie#white lily cookie#I see there's a tag for “beast ancients au” but it appears that's mostly for a specific au by someone#I think I see some other people use it so idk but I don't wanna risk uh. Infringing /silly so I won't use it X3#Immemorial Interchange AU#<- hey. Hey driftwood look I did it I posted it it's live it's Born at last X3
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The other half of me
Popular Boy! Lee Know x Loner Photographer! Black fem reader
Summary: Lee Know the schools heartthrob, Mr perfect, the pretty boy, sees you getting bullied by his ex and decides to step in. He offers to take you to the nurse and when you two meet again after you rejected his offer her learned that he doesn’t have to lie to himself when near you (College AU)
Troupe- Heartthrob x Loner (kinda)
Trigger Warnings! Fluff and angst, crying, cursing, bullying, a tad bit of fighting, blood (lmk if I missed anything!!)
You were sitting down in your seat on the train looking down at your camera as you made your way to school. When the train finally stopped you stood up and walked over your bag and camera in hand. You connected your Bluetooth headphones as you began walking out the train station and toward the campus.
You were eventually across the street from the campus. You looked at the gates and you took a deep breath before walking across the street and making it to the other side of the road. When you made it to the other side you walked towards the entrance, not before the same group of girls came beside you pushing you over and knocking you down causing you to hurt your leg.
“Fuck-!! Ow!!” You said as you sat up holding your bleeding knee. “Aww is the baby gonna cry? Gonna cry!! Grab her camera and take a picture too!!” Amia, your main enemy laughed loudly as another girl, Jio, grabbed the camera. When she picked it up you quickly stood up and snatched it back. “Leave me alone!” You said clenching your camera. “Who do you think you’re talking to!?” Just as Amia was about to slap you, Lee Know, the school heartthrob stopped her hand.
“Amia what the hell are you doing? Leave her alone.” Lee know said looking at Amia with a stern voice standing there waiting for her to leave. “But-!!” “Go.” “UGH!!” Amia stomped off with her friend mumbling underneath her breath. Lee know turned around coming closer towards you to get a look at your face before you backed up. “I didn’t need help..but thank you..” You said as you looked away from him and back away. “You’re welc-shit you’re bleeding come here let me help.” He reached out to grab your arm when you snatched it back from him. “Don’t!!..Don’t touch me. I can do it myself.”
You grab your bag from off the ground and limp to the nurses office. She wasn’t surprised to see you as this was normal for you by now. She sat you down on a chair as she disinfected the wound. As you sat there patiently waiting for her to finish the door to the office was opened again and in came Lee know. You were about to protest and tell him to stop following you when you saw him sit on the chair need the window and just look outside. Completely ignoring your presence.
You could tell he seemed a bit out of it so you decided to maybe snap him out of it. “What’s little Mr. Perfect doing here? Thought boys like you were too good to get into fights.” You said sarcastically rolling your eyes as you looked at him waiting for his response. “Well seeing as defending you got me dumped, I thought I’d come check in you.” He said honestly making you feel bad.
“Oh..I-I’m sorry I didnt…”
“It’s fine. She was annoying and bitchy anyways..just using me for my popularity and money..” For the first time in forever you felt like you knew him..? You and Lee know never spoke. Never even a wave but here he was pouring his true emotions out to you. You looked at him softly. “So why’d you get with her..?” You said softly but also sounding concerned. “My parents forced me to do it. They force me to do all of this.” He admitted as he looked at her.
You two made eye contact but it felt deeper than just a glare. “So you don’t want to be the schools ‘Heartthrob’ the ‘popular boy’ the-“ “Guy everyone wants to become because I’m rich and get girls? yeah. I hate it, wish I could just be left alone, kinda like you.” He said chuckling to himself dryly.
“..Why would you want that.. I mean being alone is well, lonely of course.. No friends and everyone thinks you’re just a weirdo. Being like this sucks.” You say chuckling as well looking down at your leg as the nurse walked in. “Oh? Is something wrong Lee know?” The nurse said looking at your leg and wrapping it as she spoke. “No just came in here to get away.” He said his voice quiet, almost like he wanted to go unheard.
“Well good thing I just went to restock….” She paused briefly. “You know.. you two are really the same.” She said with a soft smile as she finished wrapping your leg throwing away some of the bloody cotton balls. “How? We’re polar opposites.” You two said almost at the same time and then made eye contact.
“That’s how.” She giggled. “Well you two need to get to class now yes?? I’ll write you both a pass!” You awkwardly shifted in your seat before standing up preparing to leave as she finishes writing the note you find yourself gazing in Lee know’s direction. As you look at him, you find yourself lost in his presence. The way the sunlight hits all his features perfectly, the way his eyes shimmer, his slightly pink cheeks.. You find yourself unable to control your movements and you take out your camera and snap a picture of him. When the picture comes out the Polaroid you shake it and then look at it. Gorgeous. Pure perfection. You then snap out of your head when you hear the nurse snap.
“Stuck in la-la land over him aren’t we?” She chuckled. Nervous that you had been called out you just run out the room with your camera but dropping the picture. Lee know saw that you dropped something and he stood up to pick it up when he saw that what you dropped…was a picture of him.
He smiled and picked up the photo. The nurse who was watching it all smiled too as she crossed her legs
“Seems you found your other half.”
“Seems so..”
.
.
.
A/N- AH I spent SO long writing this!! I hope you guys like it!!! Lmk if you want this to be a series too(*≧∀≦*)
#stray kids#skz fanfic#skz angst#skz fluff#lee know angst#lee know x reader#skz lee know#lee know fic#fanfic#kpop#quxyivs
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redacted characters as things in my journal 🎀
relatively big tw - there's like vague to explicit mentions of su!cid3 and heavily implied mental self-esteem struggles in this one (i'm alright at the moment, promise) so if that's triggering to you, don't read. this is kinda heavy and maybe disturbing to read to some people i think.
i decided to do this because i though it was kinda fun and cool to like analyse my stuff and the characters a little bit. sorry if this offends anyone ig? idk 😭 i'll be back with the more lighthearted stuff in a couple days okay let's go ->
darlin: "my feelings aren't in my control most of the time. i don't know why i feel this way."
angel before they broke up with micheal: "i think is funny (but i also feel bad) that he's always talking about "getting married" and "forever" when i have a break up letter sitting in my notes."
freelancer: lyrics to "making the bed - olivia rodirgo"
darlin: "i don't wanna talk about him anymore."
damien: "i just want my mom. and i wish i could go up to her just bawling my fucking eyes out like i'm five-years-old without feeling like a fucking failure but i can't... i've survived long enough and i can do it some more."
darlin before sam: "and a part of me will always miss what once was or could have been. but i know they will never be long term, permanent, or reality. i wasn't created to have a happy ending... but i'm okay with this. it makes it easier to slip away and disappear."
cutie: i don't know what so say really. i just feel empty and alone often. i feel out of place. i feel like everything i do is humiliating or straight up wrong. i don't know what's wrong with me."
gavin: "try as i might, i still feel like i am not in my body. living vicariously... through myself?"
baabe: "i should know. my dad didn't want me enough to stay."
lasko: "man what a fucking baby. stop crying over shit that hasn't even happened."
damien before huxley: "i wish i was dead. do you think if [mom] knew she'd wish that too?" (knew that he was gay)
lovely: lyrics to "strangers - ethel cain"
darlin: "i hope it's not my fault when it's all over. i want one thing to not be my fault. but it probably will be."
angel: "why am i crying. again. over and over and over again. it's all i ever do. cry about this or cry about that."
milo post-inversion: "this hurts a lot more than i thought. the thought of feeling like this forever? it sucks."
freelancer: "fucking kill me. i can't breathe."
sam: "is it wrong to think i don't deserve this or that it's not my fault?"
lasko: "it feels like i'm always apologizing."
david: "it really hurts when i need to talk to [him] so bad but i can't."
huxley post-inversion/xavier's death: "is it just always going to feel like this? holy shit this hurts."
damien: "i'm sorry, mom, i'm sorry."
vincent: "the real me? i don't know who that is anymore."
angel: "one more or one less, nobody's worried. my tummy hurts."
darlin before sam: "i don't plan on feeling like this again. i don't plan on "being in love" ever again. as if i know what that feels like... it makes me feel like shit all the time."
cutie: "after this, i'll go back to being alone. like god intended."
asset: "it's kind of sad how i don't even feel like a person sometimes."
lovely: "every so often it hurts so much i think it's gonna rip me apart from the inside."
asher post-inversion: "and it's like, sometimes it straight up feels like i'm gonna die in that moment."
sweetheart: "my greatest sin to men was being a child."
damien: lyrics to "forwards beckon rebound - adrianne lenker"
#can you guess my kins lmfao#this was actually really fun#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted darlin#redacted sam#redacted david#redacted freelancer#redacted gavin#redacted milo#redacted damien#redacted asset#redacted asher#redacted sweetheart#redacted angel#redacted huxley#redacted lasko#redacted damn crew#redacted baabe#redacted vincent#redacted lovely#redacted cutie#journal entry#is this gonna get me cancelled :/#part two? lol
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Any thoughts on Bart and Rose?
MANY
they make me so goddamn emotional. first of all bart being genuinely interested in being friends with her in a period of her life where she felt like no one really wanted her around.. like the titans kinda had to look after her and the older titans saw her as an unstable child that had to be taken care of (which is correct. but she didnt like that). but BART just looked at her and thought she was cool and wanted to hang out with her <3
and him saying "its not like that" is sooo sweet bc he really just wanted to be friends with her 😭 ge*ff made their relationship sorta romantic but its so sweet that he saw her and said "idk how i feel about her but i just know i want to hang out with her <3"
also my fav thing ever is that he sees her screaming at donna and crying and goes "this is the perfect time to make my move 😎" its so fucking funny because then the NEXT time he sees her he does the exact same thing. she watched her foster parents get murdered in front of her and bart goes "hey rose! its me your friend!" ily bart. but he just keeps running into her at the absolute lowest points in her life and trying to be friends. like baby shes about to kill herself this is not the time to hang out...
and then. GOD. HELLO. tt03 #12 makes me lose my fucking mind btw
sobbing because hes the ONLY PERSON that ever reached out to her during this era. hes the only person that recognized there was something wrong and tried to help her. he knew her!!! he thought she was lying to slade because he couldnt believe she would do that. GOD.
it drives me insane that so many people who shouldve done something to help her just. didnt. but i understand that sometimes the story has to happen and they couldnt do it. thats FINE its FINE
ooouuuuggaaagahguhhohuguhhoyhuguhhughggaghahhguhhuogouhghhggagghhguhuahgguhhohooouuauauhghggaagahhuhguhooouguhaggahghgh. im fine.
"rose was there. trying not to be like her dad. trying to be something else." ACK. OUCH. ok im fine.
then. titans of tomorrow 🤮
scraps of what could've been....... i assume geoff had an arc in mind where the titans take rose back (they were at least kinda hinting at it in some of the stories) and i so badly want to know what would've happened. i like the renegade arc but i wish we got a story with the titans taking her back :((( i dont trust jeff geohns with anything but... in my imagination it would've been a great story with bart coming to get her and convincing her to leave her dad
and im still refusing to acknowledge the rest of the titans of tomorrow arc because that story is so goddamn stupid and boring. but theyre married or something in it idk
BUT. BUT BUT BUT. heres where i get insane
because ouuughhhh they could be besties but they just. keep missing each other. right person wrong time but platonically because oughhhh they first met when rose's life was just completely destroyed. then they meet again when rose's life was destroyed AGAIN. then!!!!!!!! when rose meets the team its right after bart leaves and later dies
throwing up and crying bc after rose dies we get so much of rose's favorite trauma response of suppressing it and pretending she doesnt care then trying to fuck someone
someone that she considered a friend but hadnt been able to talk to in years dies and she says "LOL that funeral is so boring! haha bart meant nothing to me. im fine. stop talking about feelings and lets skinny dip right now. bart who" go off queen <3 she does not want to let herself feel any emotion so she represses it as hard as she can forever
(btw. i have complicated feelings about this bc as much as its in character for her to repress all her feelings with sexualizing herself,,,, ew. idk if this is johns or mckeever but its one of their faults and i know it because despite defining all the important aspects of her character theyre both so gross about her sometimes. men 👎 but thats a completely different rant)
ARRHCHHGGHFAHN.... THEN. titans of tomorrow (🤮) again
bart spent this entire story saying she was awful and trying to murder her (they divorced i guess. stupid ass storyline i dont care) shes still sad to lose him again. this is literally the only time she lets herself mourn him and its right after hes been trying to kill her. there is so much wrong with her <3 <3 <3
also as i was looking for that panel i saw this one and i think its so silly:
thats my girl!!! take no responsibility for anything ever and always find someone else to blame for your actions 💞 and bonus points for hating men !
anyways. then later the krul run happens and theyre both vaguely out of character but they FINALLY get to be friends again!!!!!! theyre buddies!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre hanging out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
besties bullying a 12 year old together <3
also one of my favs because i know its supposed to be "haha barts being creepy to her XD isnt that so funny" but inside my head this moment is just bart getting so excited about being on a team with rose again that he refuses to let her miss any of the action. he grabs her hand and gets her into her costume and doesnt think anything of it because hes just so happy that he gets to hang out with his buddy <3 that wasnt the writers intention. but it is to me
if youre willing to exaggerate. they r so besties here. they are taking every opportunity to hang out because they finally get to be buddies :') we still get to see bart just genuinely liking her and once again he just thinks shes cool and wants to hang out with her <3333 theyre so much fun
and i cant keep looking for screenshots because reading the end of this book bums me out since the new52 happened and they couldnt finish any of the arcs they had planned. lili worth i miss you every day
anyways yeah to answer your question. i love bart & rose 👍 the way hes one of the only people that just. likes her. hes the first person (ish) that reaches out to her after her mom died when she was at a very low point in her life and he continues to just enjoy her company and like her as a person which doesnt happen a lot <///3 there are so few people that like her and want to spend time with her and just genuinely think shes a good person but bart always does!!!!! barring t*tans *f t*morrow bart always likes her and always thinks highly of her when no ones else does 💞💞💞 theyre so sweet and i want them to interact again
#theres a secret au in my head where bart roy and kory made a 'save rose and kill slade' task force while she was being drugged#they would not let that shit stand#rose wilson#bart allen#long post#dc#im so sorry this is basically just a tour through every interaction they've ever had. but i just love their scraps of friendship
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I'll show you if you let me...
Pairing: Han Jisung x (AFAB) Reader Summary: You and your boyfriend haven't seen each other in a long time since he has been on tour so you try phone sex. Genre: Smut Au/Trope: smau Warning: Masturbation (f + m) Rating: Mature Word Count: 807 A/N: Why is was harder then some of my uni assignments. To all smut writers...you're doing God's work...Please be nice, it's my first smutty fanfic (:
It was a normal weekday and you had just come home from a long work day. You layed down on your bed, your muscles relaxing into the mattress, taking a deep breath. The smell of the bath bomb you used wafting through the air, relaxing you further. A constant vibration broke you out of your relaxation causing you to reach for your nightstand to grab your ringing phone. You glanced at the caller ID, a smile spreading across your face when you realised who it was.
“Hello.” A tired voice spoke on the other end. You shuffled up the bed to a seated position, your smile not leaving your face at the sound of his voice.
“I didn’t think you were gonna call me today. Didn’t you just land today”
“Well, yeah…but I missed you.” You could almost hear the pout in his voice.
“Yeah I missed you too but you should rest. You're performing tomorrow and you need all the energy you can get.” You didn’t want to get off the phone with Han. You hadn’t heard from him in almost two weeks because of your conflicting schedules. You missed him so much, you missed talking to him, laughing with him, holding him and more…Not only had you not spoken to Han in nearly two weeks but you hadn’t been with him in months and you missed him so much. Your mind would constantly wonder about those moments between you. The moments where you would have late nights watching your favourite show, the moments where you would cuddle up together on the colder winter night, the moments where your hands would wonder clothes hitting the floor as you found warmth from the skin to skin contact…God you missed him.
“I know…it’s just been forever since I’ve called and I just needed to hear your voice…” He said, his voice was slightly breathy.
“I missed you too…” Your face heated up slightly from his words. “I missed you a lot. I’ve been kinda thinking about you actually.”
“In what way…?”
“...In an intimate way.” I breathed out, embarrassed from the neediness evident in my voice.
“I wish I was there to help you” He whispered, his voice slightly gravely. It sent warmth through your body and a tightness in your abandon.
“Well…I mean you can always help me from there…” you hoped he would read between the lines of what you were saying. You and Han had never done anything like this over the phone but it had been so long since you had seen him, you were getting desperate. You shifted on the bed, feeling more fidgety the more you spoke to your boyfriend, the fluttering in your belly continuing. You lay a hand gently over your stomach, the feeling not stopping. “Maybe if you talk me through, it can feel like you're here.” You giggle nervously, not knowing how your boyfriend would respond but considering how hard he was breathing, you could guess what it was. Your hand lowered down your stomach to the band of your pants, warmth spreading through your body. You hear him sigh through the phone.
“Mmm, do you wanna touch yourself? Wanna make yourself feel good?”
“Yeah…” You let out a deep breath at the sound of his voice, shifting slightly.
Okay, baby. Can you touch yourself, are you wet for me…” his voice lowering.
“Yes.” You sighed as you dipped your hand into your pants.
“Good…does it feel good when you touch yourself.”
“Mhm…” You bite your lip, slightly embarrassed by how good you felt. You felt your pulse quicken as you slowly caressed yourself.
“You are doing so well for me sweetheart. Keep going, I love the pretty sounds you're making.” The more he spoke to you, the more your pace quickened. The more you keep going, you can clearly yourself, moans loudly falling out of your lips. You felt a familiar tightness in your stomach as you heard the low moans and whimpers coming on the other end of the line. The thought of Jiisung pleasuring himself with you hurdled you closer to the edge.
“Are you close, baby.” Jisung said, his breathing erratic.
“Yeah, I’m so close.” You could hear how high pitched your voice was, signaling how close you were, your toes curling from the pleasure.
“Okay…come with me baby.” The sound of his voice and him stroking himself was what made the band snap, making you moan loudly. As your body tensed, working your way through your high, you heard Jisung groan lowly telling you he came too. You slowly tried to catch your breath, a smile on your face.
“Are you still there?”
“Yeah…” you giggled. “I’m still here.”
“Good…cause I need to come see you immediately so we can do that in person.” You laughed, causing him to laugh with you.
“Yeah…definitely…”
If you enjoyed this, please like and reblog ♡
#tee's fanfic#han jisung#stray kids smut#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours#stray kids han#skz jisung#stray kids jisung#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#Spotify
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Too late (part II)
Once Rhysand invites Eris to the winter solstice, you got all the attention from the heir of the Autumn Court, making a jealous Azriel.
i almost gave up posting this bc idk if it’s good, but here it is 😖
warnings: a little angst and kinda suggestive at the end
if you find any mistakes please let me know!
part I
[masterlist]
No one knew where Azriel was.
He simply disappeared after the disaster during the winter solstice. All his clothes and weapons were left in his room, except the Truth Teller. Eveything was untouchable, exactly where he left it before leaving Velaris.
You could feel Rhysand and Feyre were trying to hide something from you. They told you not to worry, that Azriel would come back soon, but you didn’t believe them. You could sense they weren’t sure if Az would actually come back.
You couldn’t understand why the inner circle was acting so weird, even Cassian seemed to be more careful with his jokes when you were around. Like you could break if something wrong was said.
You two got closer over the years, especially after you started training with him during the mornings. You got used to being woken up by him, calling you lazy for still being in bed. Azriel's calm face became the first thing you saw as soon as you opened your eyes, with the shadows always prowling around him.
But now, as the Spymaster, no one would find him unless he wanted to.
During that week, which seemed to be the longest time of your life, Eris sent a lot of letters and gifts. At that point you received a hole collection of jewelry made from fire stone and an invitation to dinner with him at the Autumn Court. Still, you couldn’t feel excited to see Eris. So you ignored all the letters and left all the gifts abandoned under your bed.
The only thought in your mind my was Azriel.
Sometimes you felt like your heart was being crushed, and it hurt like someone’s pain was being added to yours.
You’re feeling miserable and didn’t understand why Azriel’s suddenly disappearance was affecting you that much. You two were only friends, that was all. Even if you felt a deeper feeling for him, you knew he would never like you that way.
When Eris started to give you attention, you saw a chance to get over Azriel. But even with all your efforts to love the male, your feeling for Az didn’t go away.
At some point, you started to have nightmares. You keep dreaming about Azriel being hurt by someone, Azriel being killed or simply never being found again, leaving you alone in this world forever.
Today you woke up scared, letting a cry of despair escape from your mouth. You still could see the image of your dream in your head, of Azriel’s lifeless body laying in a dark forest.
Panic still spread throughout your mind. The image refused to leave. You wanted to scream, you wish to go back in time and fix everything, to tell Azriel how you felt.
“(Y/n)?” The familiar voice said, making your heart beat faster.
Azriel was standing in front of your door with a worried look on his face. He walked in your direction with caution, like he was scared that you would disappear if any sudden movement was made.
“Az?” You asked, afraid that was just another dreams and you would woke up at any second just to find out he was still missing.
He sat on the edge of the bed.
“I heard you screaming” He asked with a low hoarse voice.
“I’m fine, it was just… a nightmare.”
“I understand.” Azriel looked at you, trying to find the right words to say next “I’m sorry to enter in your room like this, I just… I just thought you could be in danger.”
“It’s okay.” You wanted to get closer to him, to talk everything that was running your mind. “I was worried about you, why did you left like that? What happened at the winter solstice?”
The questions left your mouth before you could stop them.
Azriel’s shadows were dancing around him, slowly approaching your body, as if they were happy to finally see you again.
“I’m sorry for that as well” Azriel let a sigh left his mouth “I left because I’m a selfish bastard. I wish I could say I have a honorable reason for it, but I don’t. The truth is I left because I couldn’t see you near Eris anymore”
You tried to digest his words, finally starting to understand.
“Honestly, at that point I wasn’t giving a shit for Rhysand’s alliance with Eris. And I should, because he’s my friend, my brother and my High Lord.” He finally looked inside your eyes “But I can’t watch my mate with another male, especially him.”
The shock spread throughout your body.
Mate.
That’s what he said. You’re his mate.
“Azriel.” You said, breaking the distance and taking his hands with your own.
He felt a shiver go through his spine. The way you hold his scarred hands without hesitation, your eyes carried with affection. Even if they’ve caused only pain and suffering in the last few centuries for the others.
For the first time, he didn’t felt like a monster, like a villain of someone’s story. He could be the villain to a lot of people, but not to you. Azriel would never be able to hurt you.
“Let me finish first.” Azriel interrupted before you could say anything “I’m back because of you, to fight for you. I don’t want to believe it’s too late for us.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” You said “I’m so stupid, if I wasn’t so scared of telling you how I felt, none of that would’ve happened”
“How you felt?” He looked confused. “You have feelings for me?”
“How can the Spymaster be so oblivious of what is infront of your nose?” You said, laughing “Yes, I do have feelings for you, but I never thought you felt the same way. I was so blind that I didn’t even felt the bond.”
But it was there, filling your chest. Uniting your soul to Azriel’s. That’s why you felt so miserable in the last days, you could feel his despair echoing with yours through the bond, almost creating a sad melody.
“(Y/n)… please don’t tell me that I got into the biggest existencial crises of my life just because I was too scared to tell you about the bond. When I could have you long time ago.”
“Don’t feel bad, because I’m afraid we both did the same thing.” You said and he laugh.
Hesitant, he lift one of his hands and slightly caressed your face. His shadows touched your soft skin, moving around your arms, making you feel a tickle.
“You’re my mate, Azriel. And I’m only yours.” You finally said the words and he looked at you with a indecipherable expression. “I’ve always been yours. And you’re right, it’s not too late for us”
“(Y/n)” A groan left his mouth “Since the first time I put my eyes on you, you’ve conquered me in every possible way. I’m yours and you’re mine, and I won’t let anyone get in the middle.”
Azriel moved his hands to your neck and you instantly whimpered in anticipation. His eyes darkened when he heard it, and he finally broke the distance between you two, kissing you deeply. He quickly pushed you to his lap, trying to get you the closer he could, and put his hands into your waist.
“Time to claim what’s mine, love.” Azriel said with a lust in his eyes.
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<< part 2 >>
Merlin woke up feeling cranky, he didn't exactly sleep. It resembled more to several disgusting and sweaty naps, and a lot of self deprecating introspection in between.
So Merlin decided to stop trying around 10 am, and moved to the sofa. He didn't have anything to do that day, they weren't waiting for him in the lab, nor in the office, they all thought he would have been too hangover. Funny.
He needed to get out, to get coffee, to try and look for a new perspective, or at least a solution, so he got up and dressed and went to open the door.
A sharp thud sounded when something collide to the ground.
"Arthur?"
"Shit, er... Merlin, sorry, good morning?" Arthur was trying to blink away the heaviness.
"Were you sleeping in my hallway?" Merlin was really confused now. Arthur had always been a bit of a prat, and he grew up rich (and still was very rich, even if he denied it) so he was posh. In all the years he knew him, Arthur had never volunteered himself to discomfort, because he could afford not to.
"Yeah, I.. Well, you told me to go, but then I thought that if I went then I would have to come back in a few hours, and well it was really early in the morning, and I didn't bring my car, so I would have to call for a car and then, well come back, and wold spend like a proper half hour just pacing around my flat, just so far away from you... guessed you also wouldn't be answering your phone, so waiting here seemed like the better option. But now that I say it out loud, it sounds kinda stalk-ish" He said sheepishly, his voice was still deep, and slow. Trying to recover from sleep. He stood up, but was supporting in the door frame. "It's just... you seemed really upset. I know I was the reason, but" he gulped "you are always for me when I'm like that..." Merlin sighed.
"Come in" Merlin talked with a controlled voice. He would have wished for a little more time to figure this out, but if he was honest maybe more time would have only made him more paranoid.
"I, er, yeah, thank you" It was extremely strange to hear Arthur so insecure, but Merlin needed to focus on his situation, and not fall into old habits. "How.. How did it go? Yesterday I mean, sorry I didn't ask sooner"
Bad, he wanted to say.
You ruined it, he wanted to shout.
I missed you, he wanted to cry.
"Fine, I guess" he didn't want to offer information, he sat in the sofa again.
Arthur gulped again and put on a tight smile. "I see" sitting beside him.
"And you? How was your dinner?" Merlin suddenly felt tired again, he didn't want to shout, or yell, he didn't want to incriminate or fight, he just wanted this situation to be over. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Arthur opened and closed his mouth several
"Merlin. I am so sorry" he said after a while. Without looking at him. "I know there's no excuse... and the way I treated you when you arrived here too... you didn't deserved that" his voices sounded tight.
If this had been any other day, Merlin would have folded, he would have told him that it was forgotten. Any other day, Merlin would have bitten the bullet of disappointment, and would have try to understand his point of view, his situation. Any other day...
"Arthur" he said after a long silence "I think it's time for us to rethink about what we want from this relationship" he could see the moment all the muscles in Arthur's body tensed up.
"What do you mean?" He sounded so scared, and Merlin fought the urge to hold him.
"What I mean Arthur it's that, this relationship can't go on like this forever" Merlin breathed slowly, trying to express himself as accurately as posible "I feel like im living on borrowed time with you, and even if you are the one in the wrong, I feel like I should just be grateful to have you a little longer, no matter how you much you may hurt me"
"That's not true Merlin, please, I would never intentionally hurt you. how can you think that? I love you" he finally looked Merlin in the eye. They were red and swollen, and a bit desperate.
"I know you love me Arthur, I believe you" he tried to swallow the knot in his throat "but sometimes that's just not enough" Merlin sat back at the sofa, looking at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had been looking since he arrived yesterday, thinking the same things, over and over. "I know you love me, and I love you, more than anything. But I also know that you would never invite me to a company dinner, you would never even acknowledge me in front of your coworkers, you would purposely hide me from your dad..."
"Merlin" Arthur said his name like a warning.
"Im not trying to be resentful Arthur" Merlin spat "they're just facts. Like the fact that you hate your job, and it makes you miserable. But you would never leave. Even if it's a shit job, at a horrible and inmoral company" he kept his tone neutral, he wanted to make a point "I would never ask you to leave, because a would never want to put you in a position where you would need to choose"
"Merlin" now his name sounded like a prayer, and a question.
"I think I always knew that I really never had a chance if you had to choose" suddenly his voice quivered.
"That's not..."
"Arthur please!" he really didn't want to hear empty promises, so he made a gesture for him to wait "I told you that yesterday was important, you knew that. And you choose him" he will not cry, no more "You ditched me, last minute. You left me alone even though I told you I Wanted you with me" his words bouncing on the walls.
"I didn't think..." Arthur was trembling a bit. And he looked like his world had been rocked and put upside-down.
"Arthur, you already have a life planed out. And you are the one that's choosing to keep it that way, you are going with the plan. And one day I will have to see how the papers and magazines cover the stories of you ascending to CEO of the world's most evil construction company, and marrying a young nice pretty girl, who is really boring and bratty but also insanely rich and has good connections, and have three beautiful very normal and healthy kids... all while I keep fighting with my little NGO to change the status quo that you reinforce. Don't you see that you don't have space for me in your future?" all the resolve to keep his cool abandoned him mid speech but at least he got it out. Arthur was looking at him like he had just told him that he only had a minute to live.
"I don't see a future without you Merlin" Arthur said, really softly, eyes shining with soon to be shed tears.
It hurt Merlin to hurt Arthur.
He never wanted to hurt Arthur.
Merlin brought up his legs and hugged his knees, hiding his face momentarily biting his lips hard, while blinking away the tears. "I love you Arthur, and I don't think I could leave you alone if I wanted to. But I think this relationship... it puts unfair expectations, for both of us" Merlin swallowed "It's not fair for me to expect something you are not ready, nor willing to give" he argued as calmly as he could. "I suppose we work better as friends"
He could see Arthur wanted to fight.
He also could see that Arthur had seen his point.
"What if...?" Arthur started, shaky. "What if I leave?" Merlin's brows furrowed confused. "My father, I mean. What If I leave him? What If I leave Pendragon Constructions? Everything... what if i..." he was starting to stammer and was not making sense. So Merlin took his hands.
"Why would you do that?" I was the genuine confusion in his expression that made Arthur sob.
"Because I love you Merlin!" he practically screamed with broken voice and desperate eyes. "please" begged silently.
"I think that if you do that. You'll resent me, eventually" he tried to reason while giving a reassuring squeeze to his hold "He is your father Arthur, you love him, and you want to make him proud, I understand that" even when he knew what it meant for himself "But you also are better than he could ever be" he assured "You won't ever lose me, I'll just need some space"
"I don't think I can do that" Arthur spoke carefully while caressing his hand "I don't know how to, I don't want to" he breathed trying to calm himself. "But I will try for you if you want me to" he swallowed "But don't misunderstand. I am not giving up on us. I won't" using his hold he pulled Merlin in for a hug. "I am sorry, I am sorry I disappointed you, I am sorry you felt like that, but above all I am sorry that you are right" he hugged him strongly and Merlin tried and failed nor to melt in his arms. "But this won't be the end Merlin, you are right for now. I will work, everyday, every moment to deserve you, to make you feel loved, to prove to you and to myself that I can become the man that you think I can be, and when that day arrives, Merlin I will sweep you off your feet" he talked those words like it was a threat, directly in his ear, while holding him close, so Merlin decided that just one last time, he would believe in him.
He would keep hoping.
#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#au#merlin#fanfiction#idea#modern au#my fic#hurt/confort?#hurt/comfort#hurt!merlin#part 2#merthur au#merlin emrys#merlin bbc#merlinfic#fanfic#merthur prompt#merthur fanfic#merlin x arthur#talk about feeling#merthur#fuck uther#drabble
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Who's The New Kid?
Previous - Next
Transcript Under The Cut~
Xavier: You missed me?
Wayne: Yes! I thought we were gonna be in school on the first day together
Xavier: hahaha I only missed 2 days! I'm here now
Wayne: Why were you late anyways
Xavier: My mom got me a quick job I had to finish. The timings overlapped but I begged my mom to let me do it
Wayne: What was the work for? Are you going to be on TV?
Xavier: It was for Vans! My billboard should be up in a few weeks. At least that's why my mom said
Wayne: It was so boring without you. The Kids here aren't as fun as you
Xavier: I doubt that there must be cooler kids here than me
Wayne: No! I mean it! They are all so boring. They don't joke around like you do
Xavier: hahaha you're right. I'm really one-of-a-kind
Xavier: Well you don't have to worry I'm here now! My mom said no more work until winter break
Wayne: Really?
Xavier: Yeah! So we can hang out at my place and play video games after school
Wayne: What about our homework
Xaiver: Come on dude! Why bring up something so boring? We'll do it after we play videos, my bother got 2k24
Wayne: But I've always sucked at video games. I don't think I'll be fun to play with
Xavier: Don't worry I'll teach you
Xavier: Forget about all that other stuff. Are we all in the same classes this year?
Wayne: Yes! I asked my dad to make sure it happened
Xavier: That's great! We've been a team all summers it would suck if we got split up
Wayne: I told my dad if he didn't do it I would never talk to him again
Wayne: He looked so scared then my mom told him to stop acting like a baby
Xavier: I wished my dad was like that! He could be so stern! I'm only here because my mom said yes. If not I would be back in Windenburg
Wayne: I'm happy she said yes! I think I would die of boredom without you
Carter: Whose the new kid beside Wayne?
Izan: That's Xavier Reeves. His mom is that famous actress married to some rich dude. My dad told me but I forgot. He said we should try and be friends with him
Carter: What the hell? When did the new kid get so close to Wayne?
Izan: I don't know but XAviers social bunny is public and I think they spent the summer together in The Bay
Carter: That's so unfair! We've been trying to be friends with Wayne since forever!
Carter: Hmm..Let's try talking to Wayne again. Maybe he'll be less uptight
Izan: I dunno Wayne is kinda sensitive. What if we spook him again?
Carter: If he can be friends with some no-name loser. I'm sure he won't mind us trying to be friends either!
Izan: I dunno man but if you say so. I just wanna be friends with Wanye...he's cute
#awh look at my babies.#they just wanna be friends#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 gameplay#thereevesfamily#black sims 4#black simblr#black simmer#sims 4 storytelling#thesims4#ts4 simblr#ts4 stories#sims 4 stories
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Goodbye Don't Last Forever
Javey. Kind of funny ngl. Enjoy.
David Jacobs was eighteen and newly graduated when his girlfriend, Francis Sullivan, left for Santa Fe, leaving no goodbye and no way to contact her.
David went crazy when she left. He loved her and she left without a word to him. He made some stupid (but not too regrettable) decisions in the time after. Dyed his dirty blonde hair a dark shade of brown. Started wearing his glasses again. Went outside only when required (as in almost never). Stopped talking to many of his friends.
Only two of the habits died, and fortunately it was those last two. He found himself to be pretty fine within a few months of her being gone.
Six years later, David Jacobs was 24 years old and getting a new roommate.
"Hi, are you David?" A confident voice came from behind him.
He turned to face- woah he's hot- the person asking the question.
"Yeah, yes, that's me. David Jacobs. Hi."
The man smiled and held out a hand to shake.
"Jack Kelly."
Those eyes... that handshake. So familiar. But the familiarity was out of reach in David's mind.
So he stood up a little straighter, smiled back, and said, "Nice to meet you in person finally. I mean I trusted Albert enough to not find me a serial killer roommate but... I feel very assured now, haha..."
"I won't kill ya, Davey."
Davey...
"Good to know. Same here. Do you need help taking anything up?"
Jack shook his head. "All I's got is this." He nodded to a moderately sized suitcase that he was gripping.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't-"
"It's nothing, Dave. I just had to leave kinda quickly and didn't have much anyways."
"Well, uh. Let me uh... I guess, follow me?"
...
David was down bad for his roommate. And, down bad as in like, Taylor Swift "if I can't have him/I might just die it would make no difference."
Something about him, Jack, felt so familiar in all the most wonderful ways. His smile was a smile David felt like he had seen dozens of times.
David wanted to know why. He wanted to know why this boy felt so natural in the environment. Why he seemed to be the missing piece in David's life.
He was going to find out.
Not today though, he decided, when Jack entered the apartment looking like he was about to burst into tears.
"Hey, are you okay?" David asked slowly.
Jack nodded stiffly, putting his head down and throwing his bag and coat to the floor.
"Jack, you look sad."
"I'm fine."
"Jack."
"I ain't- you don't gotta be all in my business." Jack was heading to his tiny bedroom, so David grabbed his arm to stop him.
"You can tell me, you know?"
Jack leaned forward, hugging David, beginning to cry.
"Woah, hey. Hey, it's alright, let it out..." David wished Jack would hug him more often, and not while crying.
Jack continued to cry for maybe three minutes, David didn't know exactly. What David did know is that when Jack made eye contact with him, he looked like he had done something horrible.
"I ain't a real boy, Dave."
David's heart could have shattered just then, hearing Jack sound so broken.
"What do you mean, you aren't a real boy?"
"I wasn't- I'm not- I am a boy. I know and promise that I am but I just- wasn't born that way and I feel like a fraud and I get sad sometimes."
"That's okay to be sad, Jack. But you're a boy, I know you are. If you say you're a boy, you're a boy. No, how old are you?"
"Twenty-four."
"Okay, Jack Kelly, you are no boy, you're a freakin' man."
Jack smiled a little, wiping his eyes dry.
"Thank ya, Davey."
...
David was having none of this "stay up until 3 AM painting" bullshit.
"Jack Kelly, you will start going to bed at a decent time or so help me-"
"I'm fine, Dave!" Jack defended himself.
"You drank four coffees today and three energy drinks. I don't even know how you're still alive!"
"Fine, fine. I will be in bed no later than midnight."
"Is that the best I'm gonna get?"
"Yup."
David sighed, deciding to give in.
"At least show me what you've been working on into the ungodly hours of the night?"
"Maybe someday." Jack smiled mysteriously and disappeared once again into his room.
David was not staring at his fine ass as he retreated. He wasn't.
...
"Davey, do you got any food?"
David was regretting getting a roommate but also enjoyed having someone around. He didn't appreciate having to buy random shit every other week because Jack had a craving and pretty much no money. (He spent his money on rent and art supplies, which David didn't mind because his apartment was cheaper and Jack's art was amazing.)
"We have fruit snacks and spaghetti-o's if that qualifies as food. We might also have a banana."
Jack strolled into the kitchen area after David's previous statement and pulled out a packet of fruit snacks, a can of spaghetti-o's, and the blender.
"What the fuck are you doing?" David asked, shocked and amused all at once.
"I'm making me some dinner, you want some?"
"Jack, there is no way in Hell you are going to eat- drink spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks put through the blender. It's gonna be terrible."
"Actually, no it isn't. My old friend dared me to do it and it actually tastes good."
David had a brief memory flash through his mind.
"Francis! I dare you to put the two most different things you can think of in the blender and then drink it." Race shouted.
"Okay, I'll do it." Francis smiled that daredevil smile of hers and got started. Spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks.
When it was complete, Francis took a long drink.
"Wow. That's actually not terrible."
"Davey, you good?"
David nodded. "Sorry, just. You just reminded me of something."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Ex-girlfriend."
"Thought you said you're gay?"
"She kind of helped me out on discovering that."
"Well. That's nice of her. How so?"
"Uh. It's a long story."
"I bet I can handle it. Besides, I have an abomination to drink. I'll listen."
"Oh. Okay. Well. Basically, she decided she was going to Santa Fe and wasn't going to, you know, say goodbye to me or anyone. And I spent a long time angry and then realized I didn't really miss her romantically at all and just was pissed, and then me and my friend Albert accidentally fucked when we were drunk and I was like 'wow that's allowed?' and anyways uh Al and I aren't and weren't interested in each other at all, we were just drunk like I said, but then it all made sense why I wasn't like, sad over the 'love of my life' leaving because it was just a high school girlfriend and I'm not even into girls. So I'm not even mad at her anymore really I'm just gay and confused and I've talked a lot now sorry."
David looked up at Jack for a reaction. He was wearing this face... David could not name the emotion.
"What was her name?"
Huh. Weird question.
"Why?"
"Well, I was just wonderin' if maybe I met her, since I's come here from Santa Fe and all."
"Oh. Yeah, uh. Her name's Francis Sullivan."
"Have a picture?"
"Yeah, one sec." David scrolled through his phone's camera roll until he found her. "Here."
The picture made Jack frown, and David kind of would have done anything to make him smile again.
"You know her?" David asked.
"Yeah, uh. I knew her."
David's heart sped up.
"Really? Is she doing okay? Is she alright? Do you know where she lives, cause I might need to go-"
"Davey. Stop."
"What?"
"You can't exactly go visit her."
"Why not?"
Jack seemed to be looking inside himself instead of at David when he spoke.
"She was... the real depressed type, Dave. Always sad. She never smiled, I don't think. She was in a real bad state of mind."
"What're you-"
"She ain't alive no more."
Everything stopped in David's head.
"What?"
"I'm real sorry, Dave. She just ain't... But I'm here."
"What's that supposed to mean? 'You're here?'"
Jack hesitated before opening his mouth. "She didn't exactly... die the way you're thinking. She, uh. She just... more... changed? She ain't Francis anymore. She cut her hair and went on T and got top surgery and goes by a boy's name now, and he/him. So, uh, tellin' ya she died was probably not the brightest idea but that was an in-the-moment decision."
"Good for him. What does that have to do with you being here?"
Jack made absolute eye contact with David, wondering how he could be so fucking stupid, and held it. Held it as he crossed the room and held it up until the moment he pulled David into a hug.
"I'm sorry for leavin' you. I just had ta get away."
David jerked away from Jack in a quick movement.
"You? You're... You- I can't-" David's brain was moving too quickly and all he could think to do was punch Jack in the face as hard as humanly possible.
Which he did.
"Son of a bitch- Dave! I only told ya cause I thought you said ya weren't mad anymore!"
"Yeah, well. Now I am, asshole. You... You deep friend burnt-ass dino nugget dickhead. You absolute.... I can't even. How dare you? I fucking loved you, yes even if I'm gay now, and you, you just ran the fuck off and never bothered contacting me for six years. I would have understood if you needed to leave, needed to leave me, needed... whatever. I would have given you your space. I hate you."
Jack looked hurt. It made David feel good. All that pain he went through and it was being passed on.
"Davey-"
"David."
"Right, sorry. David. I'm really sorry. I don't- I never meant ta hurt you. To be honest, I thought you'd be glad if I left and never came back."
David felt less good.
"I just- I wanted to feel like I could be free. It didn't really... go as planned. Because I just realized I wanted to come back. Mostly for you."
David didn't stop to think. David just kissed Jack like he was hungry for it.
"I fucking hate you." He said, pulling away.
"No you don't."
"Don't test your luck."
A small moment of touching silence passed.
"So..." Jack started. "You slept with Al?"
"Now I actually do hate you. Get out, I'm calling him. Maybe he'll be nice to me."
"Davey... I love you. I always did."
"I'm... good to know. I can't- I'm still mad, bitch."
Jack just laughed, and he knew right then that it would all be fine.
A/N: hope y'all liked it :) It'll be on ao3 asap
#newsies#javey#fanfic#newsies fanfic#javey fanfic#I think its amazing#uhh has some cussing#but some bomb-ass insults#newsies live#trans Jack kelly
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Painful Truth (Blended AU)
I decided to make a little thing for my blended aus, a kinda explanation of how Cyborg and Toppat Charles happened
-
Hello? Is anyone there…? Why is it so dark…? I can’t feel anything… I can’t see anything… Where’s the general? Where’s the twins? Where’s my squad? Where am I…?
“Hello? Charles? Are you awake?”
Wait… That’s not the general… If he’s here, then…
“Hen…ry…?”
“Yes, yes it’s me! Oh my god, you are awake! Oh thank god, I thought we were too late!”
“You… fuckhead… where… am I…?”
“You’re in the infirmary, you got hurt really bad out there. Your little fuckfaced comrads decided you weren’t gonna make it, but I had faith in you!”
What does he mean, ‘Decided I wasn’t gonna make it?’
“Can’t… open… my eyes…”
“Yeah, it’s a miracle you can talk right now, honestly. Oh, and you’re gonna wanna start saying ‘eye’ instead of eyes. You, uh, lost a bit more than consciousness in that blast, heh…”
“What…?”
“You’ll see when we let you up. We figured letting you off the anesthetics all at once might end with you starting a shootout, and that’s not exactly ideal on a space station, y’know? Don’t want someone flying out into the vacuum of space!”
“Let… me up… so I can… kick your ass…”
“Not right now, no, we still need to work on some enhancements for you, and, y’know, make sure you won’t try to kill us all. I’ve… I’ve missed you. This is gonna sound so cheesy, but I’ve thought about you a lot since I took over. I missed your voice the most, I think but… Y’know, no, I missed everything.”
“You… knew me… for 30 minutes…”
“I’ve… I’ve known you a lot longer than that. I’ve known you for lifetimes. I’ve known deaths, mine and yours, and they broke me… I’ve known lives that we’ve lived together forever. I had always hoped this could be one… Maybe we’ll never be together together, but at least you’re here! You’ll like it here, I swear, I can make you the head of my aerial assault unit, I can arm you, I can make you the most powerful pilot the world has ever seen, and here, you can do whatever you want, without the confines of international law to stop you! Doesn’t that sound amazing, Charles?”
“Fucking kill me…”
“Well at least you’re still speaking… Please? The government thinks you’re dead, and, well, we have someone here who can help you get used to the work we’re gonna have to do on you.”
“... what?”
“Yeah, when the other soldiers were retreating, they just… kinda left you. I heard one of them say ‘Don’t bother, he’s dead already’... I… I wish I could say they even looked back. I know how much they meant to you. It was… it was fucked up.”
“You’re… you’re a fucking liar… they wouldn’t do that… they’re not like you…”
“No. No they’re not… Because we don’t even leave dead members behind.”
#eun writes#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#the henry stickmin au#henry stickmin#charles calvin#blended au
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